Thursday, December 24, 2009

Twas d'Night Afore Christmas

As promised ... I am sharing a publication of my hubs'.

This was written by Bob Youden

Twas d'night afore Christmas
Down 'ere in Newfoundland
An' dere was h'ice an' big snowdrifts
A plenty on 'and

Wit' d'kids, all a sleepin'
H'up stairs in d'loft
An' Mudder in d'kitchen
Cookin' h'up a big scoff

Den I was cuttin'
Some splits for d'stove
An' Mudder was bakin some bread -
Jus' four loaves

Wit' peas puddin' an' cabbage
Some spud an' carn beef
Jus' tinkin' about it
Sure t'will be a fine feast

Den down be d'warf
Dere arose some big clatter
I t'ought dat Garge Murphy
Fell h'off d'flake ladder

I runs to d'door
Like d'clap of a bell
Caught me toe on the rug
An' be jumpins' I fell

H'as I gawked in d'garden
And h'out on d'bay
B'y d'cat got me tomgue
I 'ad nuttin' t'say

I t'ought t'meself
Screech is alright
But a little too much
Will muck up yer sight

H'as me h'eyes came accustomed
To d'wind h'an d'snow
Is dis what 'tis like
When yer mind starts t'go?

I t'ought fer d'minit
Dat me noggin' come loose
But dere was a punt
Pulled by h'eight 'ardy moose

An' a fat little shipper
Wit a h'oar in 'ee's 'and
'e was scullin' d'punt
From d' h'ice to d'land

Den h'up tru d'garden
D'punt, she fair came
An' I 'eard d'red skipper
Call each moose by name

Now move along Brian
An' John an' Bill
Get up dere Mulrooney
To d'top of d'ill

An den 'ee 'ollered
To d'ones in d'front
Now Jerry an' Neil
Keep pullin' dis punt

To d'top of d'shed
An' den h'onto d'roofs
You could tell dey was h'up dere
By d'sound of d'oofs

Den h'over d'loft
Dere rose such a clatter
An' I t'ought what might 'appen
H'if dem moose was much fatter

I was feared fer a second
D'shingles might peel
From d'scrapin' an' scratchin'
Of d'big punt's keel

Den down tru d'chimney
D' h'ole skipper 'ee came
An' of course it was Santa
To use 'ee's right name

Den h'out in d'front room
A black cloud arose
D'soot looked like spume
From a whale when she blows

'Ee stood fer a minit
To size h'up d'place
Wit black soot an' h'askes
All h'over 'ee's face

I t'ought to meeself
H'as I gawked at d'man
What fine sealskin mittens
'Ee 'ad on 'ee's 'ands

An' glossy new gumboots
To cover 'ee's feet
I couldn't imagine
'Ow 'ee kept 'em so neat

'Ee 'ad a sou'wester who's color was red
An' dis 'ee 'ad perched on d'back of 'ee's 'ead
Wit' dem fine red h'oil skins like I never saw afore
Dat fitted too tight an' reached down to d'floor

'Ee's face it was worn
An' weathered an' wrinkled
But 'ee's sparklin' blue h'eyes'
Still 'eld to der twinkle

An' now when I looked
I saw naught but 'ee's back
H'as 'ee wrestled and juggled
D'gifts in 'ee's sack

Den to d'mantle
H'as 'ee lifted d'sox
H'apples an' h'oranges
An' small toys in a box

'Ee topped h'off each one
Fer d'garls h'an d'b'ys
Wit' a small bag of bulls eyes
An' small wooden toys

'Ee looked so 'appy
'An jolly an' fine
H'as 'ee took a great gulp
Of dogberry wine

'Ee tasted d'fruit cake
An' den figgy duff
Den 'ee spoke to 'eeself
"Dis sure is fine stuff"

'Ee tied h'up d'sack
Wit' a big granny knot
Den rested 'ee's 'ands
On d'top of 'ee's pot

Now to d'chimney
'Ee went wit a dash
H'as ee's h'eyes crossed d'room
Wit a flicker an' flash

Now sure I must say
Dat 'ee cut a fine figger
H'as 'ee slipped h'up d'chimney
Like a bright squid jigger

'Ee walked cross d'roof
Back to d'front
An' I feared 'ee might slip
H'as 'ee got in d'punt

D'ouse gave a shake
From d'roof to d'floor
H'as Santa took charge
Of d'big scullin' h'oar

Den down tru d'garden
An h'onto d'bay
Midst d'clammer of 'oofs
I 'eard 'im say:

'Tis another year gone
God bless you an' yours
May 'ee grant you ...
As you bend at d'oars

...a very Merry Christmas to all YOUSE


Mark Price said...

I LOVE IT!! What a great twist on a classic poem. I think I may have been an old time mariner in another life. So cool! Is this like published in a book somewhere? Have a great holiday...
p.s. surgery was a huge success!

Eyvi Sprite said...

Tanks! I won't be able to shake the damned accent all night, now. You know how long it took for it to fade when I went to goofie-Newfie-land in January! Seriously, Fabulous!

Oh and look what I found for ya;
Hark, what's the noise out by the porch door?
Dear Granny, there's mummers, there's twenty or more.
Any mummers, nice mummers 'lowed in?
Her old weathered face lightens up with a grin.
We'll wipe up the water sure after you go.

Ah, come in lovely mummers, don't bother the snow,
And sit if you can upon some mummer's knee.
We'll see if we knows who ye be.

Ah, there's big ones and small ones, tall ones and thin,
There's boys dressed as women and girls dressed as men,
With humps on their backs and mitts on their feet,
My blessed we'll die with the heat.
Well, there's only one here that I think that I know,

That tall fellow standing alongside the stove.
He's shaking his fist for to make me not tell.
Must be Willy from out on the hill.

With his underwear stuffed and his trapdoor undone.
Ah, but that one's a stranger, if ever was one
Is he wearing his mother's big forty-two bra?
I knows, but I'm not going to say.

Well, I suppose you fine mummers would turn down a drop
Of home brew or alky, whatever you got.
That one with his rubber boots on the wrong feet
Ate enough for to do him all week.

Now I suppose you can dance? Sure they all nod their heads.
They've been tapping their feet ever since they came in.
And now that the drinks have been all passed around,
Sure the mummers are plankin' 'er down.
(Instrumental break - Bob plays one verse of Deck the Halls on the fiddle)

Ah, be careful the lamp! Now hold on to the stove.

Don't you swing Granny hard, 'cause you know that she's old.
And never you mind how you buckles the floor
'Cause the mummers have danced here before.

Allows that we'll all get the devil's own cold.
Please God, we will see you next year
Oh my God, how hot is it? We'll never know.
Good night and good Christmas, mummers me dears

Ah, good night and good Christmas, mummers me dears
Please God, we will see you next year

Please God, we will see you next year

Danica-Dragonfly said...

Hey Mark! Soooo very happy to hear this news!!! I hope your Christmas was a joyous one.

Yes - this is a book. My hubs is a Newfie and when he reads this ... well he reverts. It's very funny... 'specially when he's 'ad a few rums :)

Eyvi ... we have the Mummers song on one of our disks. I just can't seem to ever remember the crazy assed words :P

Glad you enjoyed.

Merry Christmas.


brite said...

That is brilliant! Dem der Newfies know how to turn a fine phrase.

Xtreme said...

Where ya too b'ay?? Where ya too??!??!

You'se a damned funny chick, hope the holidays worked out for ya.