Monday, December 14, 2009

Booyah - Bitches!!

I just really wanted to say that ... at least once.

So ... Saturday night was my 'big' holiday par-tay. It was a banquet put on by the national mortgage originator with whom our company is affiliated. Eyvi did not surprise me and show up anyway - BOO. Narci  and Barbie - Boop, on the other hand - did. BOO. They sat at our table. BOO. Narci is the "King of Kenzington" wherever he goes ... soooo Barbie Boop was mine to entertain all night ... did you know it was possible to drink yourself sober in the face of such adversity? Tis.


The party not only did not suck, I would be remiss if I did not give it at least a thumb and a half up (c'mon now ... remember who's writing this thing). They provided rooms for each of us at the hotel where it was held ... which meant ... drum roll, please ... A NIGHT AWAY FROM THE ANKLE BITERS!!! BOOHYAH! I would be fibbin if I said I did not enjoy THAT little perk. Plus I have two words for y'all ... O-P-E-N  B-A-R !!! Did I mention that free booze is actually my most favoritest kind ... evah. BOOHYAH!

The meal was good ... and did I forget to mention my other favorite thing?? Cheesecake ... aww yeah!! New York Style  mmmmm .... cheesecake. Yes, I am a fatty ... so what's it to you??

Say that to my FACE ... so I can sit my cheesecake-y arse on you 'til you can't breathe ... ya - that's what I thought.

Right, so on with my night. So "Gumby" (our regional sales leader) gets this bright farking idea that he should pass the mic around the room and everyone should (individually) stand up, say who they are, where they are from, and introduce their guest. Did I mention this was for FOUR provinces??? And while the mortgage industry has been suffering a long drawn out and agonizing death in these parts ... there were still plenty-o-boe-boe's that I had to listen to as they tittered their way thru their own introduction ... really - like I give a crap that your name is Marci ... and you work for Narci ... you are from Timbuck-too and here with your cousin Frank. SRSLY! The stupid thing finally came around to me and I said "it was an honor, just being nominated *pause* I'd like to thank ... myself - 'cause I did it alone!" ... and then I introduced myself and 'this very lucky man you see right here is Mr Dragonfly' and then, I passed the mic to Narci. He choked. Not for long ... but "Mr Kewl-dude in a loose mood" was rendered ... well not speechless ... but speech impaired. It was FANTASTIC!! He even forgot to introduce his woman ... BAH HA HA!! (I'm mean ... I know this to be true - and remarkably non apologetic too)

So Barbie was nicer to me that night than she's been in as long as I can remember. Guess she realized she was stuck with me and opted to play nice in my sand-box for a change ... 'course that didn't stop me from goofin' on her scantily clad, narrow ass all night. Skinny bitch! Fuck - I coulda used her to pick my freakin' teeth after the meal! We managed to bond over trashing Skankala from last weekend's party ... so it was all good in the end.

Toward the end of the night, Narci had what I now refer to as an "I love you, man" moment with me. No - NO!! No touching occured - Seeepus! No, like he would have with another staunchly hetero man ... I think that is the best description. He had been sitting with his back to me ... and at one point, he leans back so that he can see my face and sez ...

"thanks for comin', D"

Me: Huh? Oh, yer wel...come?

Narci: No ... I mean it ... thanks.

Me: K .... you didn't invite me, but yer welcome.
 
Narci: No ... you know ... sometimes us guys ... we don't say the things we're s'posed to say all the time...

Me: K - I'm gonna stop you there, Narc ... I am not prepared to start looking for another job just yet ...

Narci: Naw ... you and me ... we're goin' places. I can see it!

Me:  *Sideshow Bob shudder* Uh ... what's that? *looks over shoulder* you need me to come do some dishes?? Sure - on my way ... (to self ...the hell? K - he needs to change to water now...)     

Thankfully, all is right with the world of The Narcissus today. He is back to his old self serving ass fuckery and Dani can relax back into her comfy little corner of Hell inadequate and disposable as ever.

The weekend was fun, though. We even got our tree up and the last of our decorating complete. All in all, I'd say it was the best weekend I have had in as long as I can remember ... and it is also the first weekend in as long that my hubby was off on Saturday ... hmmmm ... wonder if that had anything to do with it?

Oh well - happy Tuesday


5 comments:

Triplets Plus Two Momma said...

Open Bar---Cheese Freakin Cake?

Good Gawd. Ya know...I really ought to think about getting a real freakin' job so I can get me some time away from the ankle biters for cripes sakes.

I am already completely inadequate and disposable, so how much worse could it be...and I might even get a paycheck....yea baby.

Xtreme said...

Dani, I applaud your self control. A night out with what amounts to strangers, at a paid for hotel, with an open bar, and you didn't yak in anyone's purse!

*slow clap*

Hats off to you. I would've ended up naked in the hot tub. I've seen me do it.

Amethyst Anne said...

Sorry you lost me at night away from the kids, and then I went into dreamland with open bar and cheesecake...sigh..That has the makings of the best weekend ever! Next time can I come?

Eyvi Sprite said...

I suffered, let me tell you. The hubby's party was tres boring. We left at 10:30 and watched the fights at home. Or rather he did. I fell asleep.

Danica-Dragonfly said...

K - I REALLY need to stop trying to post when my kids are buzzing around my head ... sheesh!

T+2, welcome! It's a toss up some days, this whole working thing. 1 night a year of bliss doesn't really make up for the other 364 days of hell ... but I digress.

X - I KNOW, right? Yay 4 me!! No hot tub ... limited naked!

AA - abso-smurfly!!! I bet you'd be all kindsa fun to par-tay with!

Eyvi - I'd like to feel bad ... I really would, but you left me ALONE with Barbie and Narci ... no sorry for YOU!! Come back ... 1 year! (yeah - I know you are hoping not ...)