Friday, May 20, 2011

I'm From Nova Scotia!

So ... I'm sure you are all wondering ... did Toronto survive?

Yes, I believe it is none the worse for wear. My big toe, on the other hand STILL has a GI-normous blister on it ... *sighs* ... AA made me walk ... A-LOT ... and IN THE RAIN!!

Jeez ... doesn't she know I am constructed primarily of sugar ... and perhaps a little cornstarch? Melllllting ...

Backing up, the trip out was fun ... I was the kind of excited that can make a person vomit  right easy, so I was packin' Gravol.  I never wound up taking it and (THANK GOD ... or GODTOPUS or whomever you worship ... in my house, we all worship me, but I don't feel right thanking myself ... even though I really am the one to thank ... oh, it's so confusing) managed NOT to do the techno-color yawn on the plane ... or any time thereafter. Yay for Dani!

I was so nervous to meet AA ... not that I should have been ... I mean she's all the fabulosity that a person can glean from what she shares on her blog ... and then a heaping scoop more. I figured we'd be okay ... but there is always that chance there would be awkward pauses and ... not ... knowing ... where ... to ... start ... the ... conversation. And then there is the paralyzing paranoia from which I suffer ... and I am thinking perhaps I am not so alone in that sufferage (yes - I am coining my own words now ... and yes, I know about  suffrage ... SO-HO not the same thing at all)  ... so there was that. Plus the fact that I have not only NOT flown in very close to 15 years, but (other than my surgery ... and let's face it, I was so stoned while in hospital, I wouldn't have known my family anyway) I have never been away from my entire family before ... not for two nights, anyway ... and certainly not in another province! My worry was all for not, though. After mere moments of "deer caught in the headlights", we were giggling like a couple of junior high girls on a class trip.

Let me say ... it's a good fuckin' thing that she was such super fabulous company ... 'cause it RAINED like we'd see Noah cruisin' by at any given moment. There was, in fact a rather suspicious looking ship on the lake that may or may not have had a male and female of each species on board.

Yes ... this was the scene on Saturday morning from our hotel room. Well ... I use the term "morning" rather loosely ...

Back to the flight in ... as mentioned, I was pretty excited. I snapped a couple of pics (a couple of the VERY few that I took) from the window of the plane. I actually filled up with tears at the fact that I could not fully share the experience with my girls. Stretch, in particular would have thought it was SO FREAKIN' COOL to see the world from up there. (There aren't that many areas where her interests and mine overlap in such a way that we aren't fighting with each other ... so it was more bitter than sweet in those moments of wanting her there to see.)

I believe we were over New England here ... I honestly don't remember ... the weekend was a lot to take in for my little bean.

Anyhoo ... I landed safe and sound and then followed the herd to where the luggage lords spat my belongings out onto the conveyor belt ... problem: I borrowed a suitcase from my mother (as I never travel and my set has been stored in basements for the past ... uh ... decade and smells very much like it has done just that) ... it was a navy blue, Air Canada wheelie-jobby. Any guesses on how many people have this same piece of luggage? Anyone? Anyone?

Thankfully, there was a nice man that had magically appeared beside me and was looking for such a case, himself ... when he saw me grabbing at one of the many that ambled by, he started pulling them off one by one so we could both look at them and determine if they belonged to either of us. Mine was the second one he grabbed ... a fortunate thing for me (especially since when I returned home, I wound up chasing my bag all the way round the stoopid loopdy-loo trying to catch it - like a doe-head).

Bag in tow, I made my way out to the 'public area' where AA had told me she would be waiting. I had a serious case of blond brain already ... and adding to that, a case of nerves the size of the city I had just landed in ... let's say I was ... frazzled ... yeah, we'll use that term... it sounds a whole lot better than "fuckin' stupid". But I scanned the crowd and quickly found a familiar and friendly face. Awkward as I was (and maybe we both were ... I couldn't see past my own discomfort) I counted (entirely) on AA to direct me toward whatever order I needed to be in ... mainly, we needed to get our tooshies on the shuttle to the hotel ... that's where the liquor could be consumed.

Simple enough ... yes? Uh ... no. AA found the ticket booth AND it was for the correct shuttle. (So glad she knew what she was doing) She instructed me to buy the return ticket at the same time, which I obediently did. The bus was approximately 9 steps from the ticket guy. In those 9 steps ... I managed to LOSE MY FARKIN' TICKET! How is this even possible? The driver was there and said: I JUST saw it in your hand ... what did you do with it? (I mean, really ... could I BE any more FROM NOVA SCOTIA??) ...and that became the joke. Everywhere we went: "I'm from Nova Scotia" said in an embarrassed whisper of exasperated explanation for my 'blond-ness'.

I eventually found said ticket and we boarded to bus ... and giggled and tittered our way through the downtown Toronto area. It was awesome. Once checked into our room, we had started to have a level of comfort and (from my perspective, at least) things became very easy between us from then on.

This was hanging in our bathroom ... freaky - no?

Sooo ... we set off to forage for mix, more liquor ('cause the 60 of wodka that AA was packin' was apparently not sufficient to cause the level of damage we required) and food. We wound up eating our dinner on the water front ... I snapped a couple of pics there:

This, right here is actually a pic of the top of AA's head

Our Hotel as seen from the lake front.

 After eating, we settled into a night of drinking martinis and getting to know each other better. We shared a zillion stories ... I know I used at least twice as many words as were implicitly necessary to impart the info that I shared ... but then I am a wordy sort (sorry, dude).

The next morning, we were a little green around the gills and weren't moving really fast. Late afternoon, we got ourselves together and walked to the Eaton centre. I'm going to refrain from describing this, because aside from getting soaked to the damned bone ... there were eight hundred MILLION people shopping in that place! NO - REEEEELLLLY. I don't do crowds well ... (I'm from NOVA SCOTIA!)... AA got a taste of cronky-Dani. She told me I had "the face" ...

I have little doubt that I did, given the fact that my insides were boiling over and my outsides were wet and soggy. Blech! We caught a cab back ... and the giggles returned while we were sitting in the back seat, entertaining our very large Jamaican driver.  <-- that was fun.

The evening was spent chit chatting and getting ourselves ready for the VERY early morning we had to face. No more martini's for us. We did venture across the street for some greasy burgers and fries and gravy. Just what the doctor ordered! Mind you, I think my system is STILL trying to figure out what to do with that.

These were actually taken as we waited (very early in the am) for the shuttle to whisk us back to Pearson to fly back to our respective homes ... thus ending one of the best weekends - EVAH!

Across the street from the Castle - cool sculpture

Harbour Castle ... what a super fabulous hotel!

All in all, it was a wonderful experience and one I would do again in a snap! AA has cemented herself into my heart forever and it is my sincere hope that we can do this again ... or some reasonable facsimile. Maybe the Hubs' and respective offspring can come next time ... hmmm ... a whole year to contemplate that one.

Thanks for the memories, Chiquita!

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Travel Plans


Here we are, on the eve of my big trip. Tomorrow (Friday) I get on a plane headed to "The Big Smoke" to meet up with my long time bleep, AA over at The Lunch Hour. I.AM.SO.EXCITED! I've never met AA in person, and some may find it odd that I would get on a plane, fly to another province, and spend a weekend in the same hotel room with a veritable stranger (nobody on here, I'm sure ... but anyone else who has heard the 'plan', it would seem). Let me just say this: I guess one could raise an eyebrow at the thought of doing such a thing ... BUT - AA has turned into a very close friend of mine. We sometimes chat on the phone (when schedules and time zones allow). We email pretty well every day while on the Bosses' respective time ... it's a public service, really ... keeps both bosses alive and in relative good health. In fact, what I have learned over the past year or so, is that AA and I are so nearly THE SAME FRIGGEN PERSON ... it's just a tad on the scary side. If ya'll wanna be scared about something ... be scared of THAT! (Be very afraid ... 'cause we are about to join forces ... and I'm really not sure if any good will come from that)

For those of you who read both of us (and I guess I'm lookin' directly back at us, the man AA sleeps with and you, Brite), this is old news ... since AA actually posted about this the other day. I don't know if anyone else actually even still stops by - as my blogging days seem to be drying up and flaking away.

Moving on ... and back to the point of this post (see, some things never change) ... my trip. Did I mention I.AM.SO.EXCITED?! Like ... nearly sick to my tummy, excited ... like ... couldn't sleep LAST NIGHT (and can't imagine that I will tonight), excited. I am only going for two fricken days, but you'd think I was moving there - for the planning and prep work I have done. I'm talkin' hair, nails, new duds, (well ... these really had more to do with the fact that I have now lost 90 lbs and none of my old stuff will even stay ON my body rather than the actual trip) new shoes (that broke the first day I wore them, I might add ... stoopid eBay), new purse. Hubby will likely be happy to get me on that plane as I'll finally stop spending so much money ... yeah ... THAT'S gonna happen... I went nearly THREE YEARS without being able to buy a bloody coffee ... we have a little cash flow right now and I'm taking advantage, DAMMIT! *snort* I really don't know what I am going to obsess about once I get home ... aw, hell ... I'll think of something, I'm sure.

So last weekend, I realized it would make good sense to ask for Thursday off to get myself (and my house) ready for me to be gone for an extended weekend. Now, Hubs is pretty capable, but there is a very large amount of work that goes into running that place, cooking meals, feeding livestock, keeping the vermin to a minimum ... you know, the usual ... I wanted to leave everything tickedy boo for them. I asked Narci if I could add Thursday to my time off - bearing in mind that it is still so dead in this office, I could literally cry most days. He gave me a face and I told him he could let me know (meaning, do NOT say no ... think about it until you get to "yes" and THEN answer me).  He never did answer me. Yesterday, when he was leaving the office (early ... to go home and spend some time with his dog ... yes, you heard me right), I said "... so ... will I see you next Tuesday?" And he said, "no - I need you here tomorrow." He couldn't even be a big enough person to come to me and say something like: Dani, I know you wanted the extra day, but I am going to be out of the office and I really need you to be there until I get back. I'm sorry about that, but if I can get out of my meetings early, I'll certainly let you leave when I get there. Oh, no ... he was simply going to leave and just not bother answering me. Man, he drives me!

I tried not to let it make me mad, but the more the minutes passed, the more pissy I got. I was standing at the front desk, waiting for a 27 page fax to send (because you actually have to do that if you want a fax to actually LEAVE this place) and he was there, talking to Bambi. He turned to me (and I was trying to be invisible) and started asking me questions about my trip ... who I was meeting, and where they were from, what we were doing ... you get the drift, he was trying to play nice after acting like the ass clown that he is. I really didn't want to be engaged in ANY sort of tete a tete with him ... but I didn't want to strain things any more (by ignoring him and walking away - like I honestly wanted to do) so, I answered the questions ... as simply as possible. When I told him where AA was from, he asked me the following:

Narci: How do you know her ... school?
Me: No ... I haven't actually ever met her in person before. 
Narci: WHAT? JES-US, DANI what do you mean you've never met her in person before?! How DID you come to know her?
Me: I met her on line
Narci: JEEEEZUSS DANI - What are you saying? HOW?
Me: Well ... (and I don't know why I gave license to the little devil on my shoulder to answer this one ... but) actually, I met her husband first ... and then he introduced his wife to me (this is actually the truth ... but he has a dirty, dirty mind ... and I KNOW this already ... and purposely played on it.)
Narci: You met her husba... is HE going on this trip TOO?! JEEEzzzUSS CHRIST, Dani ... I learn something new about you every day ... does Hubs know about all of this?!
Me: Welll ... he knows I'm going to Toronto ...
Narci: Seriously ... how did you meet her?
Me: I seriously met her through her husband ... whom I met online. (I was pretty dead-pan here and sounded a little put out that he was asking, too ... 'cause I was pissed at him)

Then, the phone rang and it was for him and he got side tracked and left right after ... so I never did set him straight ... not that I honestly give a rat's ass ... but I think my boss thinks I am going to experience some wacky orgy while I am away ... *SNORT!* Good on him.

With that, I will clue up and start a rousing game of solitaire ... as I have nothing better to do today ... but I am HERE ... I guess that's the main thing. *sigh*

Hopefully we'll both have some fun stories to share when we get back to our respective homes ... and we don't end up in some Mexican prison or some such.

Until then, bleeps ... have a great weekend!