Friday, June 17, 2011

Hubs Said F*@k

No, no ... you don't understand. My husband does not use profanity like I do. He's a good Irish Catholic Newfie boy. He says "shit" now and then ... but fuck? Nuh-uh.

I did the bi-weekly grocery shopping last night on my way home from work. I friggen detest the grocery store like the plague, but it has to be done - and apparently I have to do it. Hubs had agreed to take the girls to their school's Spring Fling. Aw ... pity, I was going to miss all the fun! (Suddenly spending two hours of my time and most of my pay cheque in the grocery store didn't seem quite so bad.)

Anyhoo ... when I got home, they were back and I noticed immediately that something was wrong with my husband. You need to know something about this man ... he has two moods: His usual patient, work-a-day self ... and horny. That's pretty much it. I have enough moods for all of us, so it really works quite well. But last night, he was pissed. Like, really pissed.

I asked him several times to spill it, and he just looked at me and said it had nothing to do with him and me ... 


So ... I began the quiz portion of the evening.
Me: Did the kids upset you?
Hubs: No
Me: Did you and Mom get into it?
Hubs: No
Me: Something with the business?
Hubs: No
Me: For the love of GOD, would you just TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG??

He takes me outside on the deck and in fairly hushed tones starts telling me about an incident at the Spring Fling. Our oldest, Stretch, had volunteered to sit up in the dunk tank. Apparently some little fucker from grade 4 showed up on the scene and after announcing to the crowd that "he HATES Stretch" starts pelting balls at the target and in the meantime, gets a group of children to start chanting that they "hate Stretch".

Now, I would be fibbing if I said that this didn't ruffle my fur, but there are a few additional pieces of info that need to be placed for you to get the whole picture.

We have been concerned about Stretch's socialization since she began at that school three years ago. We have had numerous meetings with both teachers and principals regarding this concern. Each and every time, we are told there is no reason for concern ... that she has found her niche group and seems happy in it.

Stretch is a highly intelligent ... but highly strung person. She's got a heart the size of Texas about some things, and is oddly cold about others ... more than anything (and God forgive me for saying this about my child, but) ... she's as annoying as holy hell. She is. I can see how she could grate the nerves of even the most determined child. She's constantly singing and doesn't often listen when someone asks her to stop. (Not that these are really great reasons to hate someone ... but some kids are assholes - maybe mine is seen as one of those.) The point, I am having trouble making here is this: We have expressed concern about Stretch and her ability to make (and keep) friends - on numerous occasions. Hubs and I want her to 'be herself', but if there are genuine issues with the way she is relating, maybe we can help coach her ... so, if we are continually being told there is no problem ... how does one proceed?
And yet - she repeatedly comes home telling us that everyone hates her (can't imagine where she'd ever get that idea) and that 'so and so' won't play with her and on and on. Add that to the fact that she was invited to only two birthday parties all year ... and you have yourself a real reason for concern.

This was the part where my husband started to use the expletive like it was salt in a shaker and he was eating french fries. He has a point. Why in the eff, after us repeatedly asking for guidance from the effing people who spend the entire effing day with our children - would we witness something like this, and nobody else has managed to see anything of the like in the previous 10 months (or 3 years, for that matter). And how in the eff, in a society so focused on anti bullying and respectful behavior, could a GROUP of children be chanting that they HATE another child - and NOT ONE staffer at the school notices?

I mean ... I got "spoken to" because my daughter was "bugging" one of the boys. Not hitting, or kicking or being mean in any way ... just hanging around and bothering him. Seriously. (This was the incident that cemented the relationship with my cow of a neighbor.)

Now, one could say that perhaps there was a small over reaction on my Hubs' part ...  as stated, kids can be assholes, and often are. But, the more I think about it, the more I am tempted to march my ass into that principal's office and become "that mother". Why in the eff didn't they notice? It was pretty damned obvious. And I expect it is every bit as obvious on the play ground at recess ... aren't there people outside with these kids watching them?

What tha hell?


brite said...

Yep will have to turn into 'that Mom' on this one. A school event and a crowd of children chanting "We HATE Shorty" ?? WTF indeed.I would have my ass in the principal's office first thing Monday am following up on the email that you will be sending her/him this weekend.
Do it...for you, for Shorty and for your hub.

brite said...

Whoops..just noticed I confused Shorty with's the Alzheimer's, I swear.

Spot said...

Lady- you totally have my permission to march into the principal's office on Monday and give him a slice of the "your ass better do something" pie. Go all kinds of mama bear on him. It's ridiculous that the children should have been allowed to chant like that. And where the hell were their parents, I might ask?

Have you considered that her socialization problems might be caused by something else? It's worth having her in to see someone. As you know, these things only get worse.

Amethyst Anne said...

Oh this is that time to become "that Mom" and if you mean by "that Mom" as being the Mom who loves her daughter and isn't going to stand by while she takes the brunt of a bullying situation then by all means be THAT MOM.
I say, full on Mom hat on and give them hell.
First and foremost, the situation with Stretch was completely unacceptable. Most schools tote the "no bullying policy" and need to be held accountable to that.
Not only was this a group of children older than Stretch, but it was a group being egged on to taunt plain and simple, NOT acceptable.
WTF indeed!!!
Regardless of her "social status" in the school,you need to address this situation with the principal.
As for Stretch's dilemma, next year is a new year, new class, new friends and a whole lotta summer in between, a lot of things can happen during those 2 months.
I've got a good hunch that she's going to be ok..I've met her Mom!
And her Dad seems pretty damn cool too!

Xtreme said...

Your child has a 'problem'. Her 'problem' is, she's probably smarter than most of her classmates, and as such, she probably can't help but tell them so. I hope she can get past all these ass-hats, and their inbred parents. Hell, I know she can.

Melinda said...

A very wise woman said to me once, 'you are the only advocate for your children' It's become part of my code.
There is a balance between having a kid learn how to handle what life throws at them and stepping in.
Step baby. STOMP!! Bring the hubs with you, it's been my experience that you are taken more seriously and
not viewed as the hysterical woman/mother. You know how if you are an assertive woman you are deemed a bitch. If you question anything with a teacher you are now a helicopter parent.