Thursday, September 24, 2009

New feature

I think I'll start a new feature. Yes ... I think that is a good plan. I will call it "Chronicles of Narcissus".

Yeah ... it could be both a fun feature for reading and a catharsis for writing. A win/win, if you will.

This could be good. I will regale you with stories of nonsensical foolishness that occurs on a quasi regular basis 'round these parts.

As an example, I might tell you about the day that one of the area managers (of a lender I was utilizing frequently at the time) stopped by with a $100.00 gift card for the local grocery store for me. (Just a special 'thank you' for choosing to use them - as I do not make commission ... unlike my fearless leader.) Narcissus intercepted said gift card ... said "Oh don't worry, I'll be sure to take care of Dani here" and stuck it in his pocket. ***I will just point out that this is a man that owns THREE Mercedes high end vehicles: Let me demonstrate (Please note the lovely photos attached.)  One for every day of the week (that he works). ***

Yeah ... so he sticks the gift card into his pocket and commandeers the conversation, eventually pushing me out of it.

In our little set up, the way it works is as follows: He's the name on the organization : "Narcissus Inc" and all business funnels in under that name. I am the funnel. I am also the collector, the brains, the closer and the cleaner ... but whatever ... he's 'da maaan'. Me and my boobs are happy in the shadows ... chained to the desk ... like Quasi Motto ... tolling the proverbial bell. Well - happy is a relative term. If only I could be so invisible when the numbers are shitty or a head needs to roll ... perhaps I'd be more inclined to be invisible when the treats come out ... not so much, in my case though.

Several days had passed since that meeting where the gift card was presented. I had mostly forgotten about it - officially, anyway. I figured he had forgotten it in his pants and it got washed or some other dumb ass thing. I knew full well he wasn't THAT desperate for money that he'd starve without that hundred bucks ... In the meanwhile, the area manager happened to call me and in the conversation he asked me what glorious goodies I had purchased for myself with my found money ... uh ... er ... um ... well ... he piped in: He didn't give it to you, did he? I tried to come up with something that might explain it away - 'cause after all, it is embarrassing that I work for such a miserly individual that values my contribution to his business so little. Plus, I didn't want to make a big thing about it ... well not to Narcissus' face, anyway.

Strangely enough, the very next day boss man Narci brought me a $50.00 certificate from the same grocery store. He actually took the time out of his busy schedule to drive to the store, cash in the $100 cert and buy 2  for $50. (I'm gonna quote Spender here ... I sincerely hope he does not mind) ... but JEEEBUS IN A JUMPSUIT!!!!  Okay - is it just me - or does that seem out to fucking lunch??? I mean - REALLY. Does it not strike you as the teeniest bit petty for a man that makes a GAZILLION dollars, vacations all over the world several times a year and owns more chattel than I can shake a stick at (... and believe me, I'm an idiot savant when it comes to shaking sticks ...) to be that concerned about spiltting this with me?

I wish I had had the wherewithal to say: "No, that's alright - you keep it. It obviously means a lot to you." I was  too gobsmacked. Still am. See it's stuff like this that I need to write down (or type out, as it were) so I can keep an inventory. Perhaps I should ask Doran if he'd sell me a franchise of  Stabbymart. I'm thinkin' he's onto something over there. Perhaps I'll collect my own inventory before I start buying a supply of instruments of personal torture.

Oh look at me all name droppy today.

Stay tuned for the next volume of Chronicles of Narcissus

Happy Thursday Folks!


Eyvi Sprite said...

So, I didn't miss anything?

The Management said...

Oh, honey, these instances are the whole reason I started SabbyMart. I've got a lovely serrated money clip that would be perfect for him.

I can certainly relate to having a person like that playing such a prominant role in your life. It'll be in a future post.

Cindy said...

You're freaking kidding me. He took your gift card? Ok, HALF of it????

Yanno what he needs? A HOT DOG.

Danica Dragonfly said...

Yup - one of my super-duper dogs ... with that money clip inside :))

JJ said...

I look forward to your new feature. Narcissus still never ceases to amaze (and stun) me.

Spot said...

What a colossal ass! Surely the Queen of the Island of Passive Aggression can come up with a way to get him back?!