Yawn Fest

Holy crap, I am so bored!

I like my job, I do. 

My boss is pretty cool.

Not a whole lot of responsibility.

No real stress.

The Board... well they are "The Board", but no real challenge there.

I'm just so shamefully under-employed.

I know that I have been in a place where under-employment had advantages, but lately I find I am longing for so much more from my daily activity.

Home is boring, too... and I'm supposed to covet boredom after all the 'excitement' of previous years... I just feel as though I need... more.

I want to do something. Maybe something great, or at the very least, something cool.

I want to write a goddamned book... but that seems like trying to go out and climb Everest to me just now. I want to have the courage to swallow my stupid, silly pride and write about the bankruptcy process and how unbelievably unprofessional the 'professionals' actually are... about losing a house... about how easily this can happen to people who never imagined they could find themselves in such a predicament.

I believe I could do such a story justice. It might even help somebody someday... who knows? 

I don't have a working title for such a story... maybe something like: "Great Excavations (of Your Anal Cavity and Other Orifices)" or "Iniquitous Means... and Other Bedtime Stories".

I also want to write a sexy book and a comic strip. 

I'm not doing any of these things. 

Cripes, I can scarcely gather up enough words to cover a blog post most days... and the only reason I am hammering away today is because I am literally so fucking bored at my job, that I may pop something if I don't find some occupation for my wandering mind. 

I have done all the 'make work' projects I have been able to invent. Everything is organized. Every spread sheet is made and filed and backed up. The office supplies are up to date. The dishes are done and the stupid microwave is even clean. Receivables are at an all time low because I literally have nothing to do but create clever emails to entice member payment. I am congratulated at every meeting for such stellar performance... and the sad sad truth is, these people have absolutely no earthly idea how capable I truly am.

I am seriously wasted on this position... yet it pays better than most options out there for my (formal) education level. I need to go back to school and get some sort of designation... I'm thinking accounting. I do 75% of the accounting for this place - not that their books are very complicated; Invoices out, payments in, bills paid, cheques printed and taxes quarterly - bada boom, bada bing - Bob's your uncle. I do all the posting now. I don't think it would be a major stretch to expand into full accounting. 

I think I would actually enjoy forensic accounting... just not for the CRA. I couldn't stomach that.

Maybe on some mob task force... that'd be fun. Figuring out how they launder their money... following all the false paper trails. I could see me enjoying a job like that. My eyes might jump outta my head at some point, but I could imagine it tickling that organizational part of my wonky brain.

Speaking of... I got the date for my CT scan. It's at 6:40 am on a Tuesday. Sweet Jesus! I'm gonna have to leave my house at 5:30 to get there on time! 

Oh well... at least it is soon. I won't be waiting for six months to get this done. I'm still scared. This headache of mine has become such a part of my everyday now... I might even miss it at this point. 

Just kidding. This headache can go get bent.

I just don't want them to find anything wrong with my brain. I've had some dizziness and a few other symptoms that are likely nothing, but when you are worried about a particular health issue, it ALL seems relevant to that pessimistic part of your thought process. I may complain about life a whole big bunch, but I do not want to die. 

I do not want that to be part of my kids' stories.

I do not want to miss out on my grand babies... they are what I'm holding out for now.

Honestly, I think I would still have another baby... just to give me a purpose. Mine don't seem to really need me much these days.

But then I would be subjecting yet another human life to this world we have created. Ulch. That wouldn't be very nice of me.

Wow! That took a turn quickly.

I think I will go and pour over my receivables for a while... maybe see if the website needs any updating or look for a drawer to clean out. Gah! I need an occupation!

D-Out