OMFG!

Caution... this post may contain curse words... or, it may not. I can't decide which path I'm about to follow here.

Deep breath...

I just did the last of my income/expense statements from my bankruptcy. A task, I'll add, that we did not know we had to do until I discovered it by accident about six months ago. I only just figured out what it is they do with the information - hence my current reaction. Apparently your trustee doesn't have to tell you this information up front... only means they can keep you paying longer - which ensures the maximum return for them.

There is a plug of vomit lodged in my throat.

Based on my calculations, we are going to get a bill for over $12K for our first two years of the filing.

To put that in terms you'll understand, we need to pay $1000(+) per month just to catch up, and another $1300.00 a month so we don't slip behind this year... and if we can't pay that (which we can not...) we stay in bankruptcy until it is paid in full... all the while, for the next twelve months, we are accumulating more and more debt to them.

If anybody ever has the balls to tell me we got off easy, I am going to relieve them of said balls.

We wouldn't even have had to fucking do this if CMHC would have worked with us, rather than hiding behind our bank's policy, on our house situation. 

It is incredibly challenging for me to grasp the level of inequity that is occurring here.

I'm sitting here at work, realizing that had I never gone back to work, we would not be in this situation... mind you, we wouldn't have been able to survive... but we wouldn't be in this situation, in particular... just a different one. It seems very odd to me that it is not in our best interest to recover from financial trauma... or at least not while still in bankruptcy.

Given the fact that on our last face to face meeting with our trustee's office, the guy told us we would be discharged, this is startling news. He didn't know the first thing about the people sitting in front of him... for the second time running. Hard to justify paying these people $1300+ per month to handle this filing for ... well two years running.

I may faint.

The tears that are stinging my eyes fall every now and then when I lose control over them, and there is a growing puddle under my desk where I've been allowing them to drop.

I guess all that is left to do for me is hope my CT shows a massive brain tumor... then at least I won't have to worry about it... or at least not for long. 

They can't touch life insurance.

FUCKITY FUCK FUCK!!

I need to go and purge my lunch...