Casual Conversations...

This is the conversation I was having with myself while driving home from the doctor last night:

Me: I'm finally getting the cat scan for my headaches!

Also me: Now you'll find out you have a tumor or a sack of worms living in your brain.

Me: You're spinning out, stupid. Reign it in. You don't have a brain tumor.

Also me: Jesus! Please don't make me have that conversation with my kids... oh my GOD!

Me: Okay, dumbass... you need to breathe. You're going to make your silly brain explode... and we're driving here. You don't need to tell your kids about an imaginary tumor. Okay?

Also me: What am I going to feed my people tonight... how are they ever going to eat if I'm gone? 

Me: Why are you like this?

Also me: *twirling panties over head* 

Inexplicably, my thoughts drifted off to the upcoming grocery list, the fact that I hadn't shaved under my arms before going to my doc, so I didn't show her the rash that has been left untreated for over a month already... then to my feet and the fact that I can't get a pedicure...     

What was actually said was that it was time to have a CAT scan since I was having night headaches (which honestly has often been an issue for me in the past) and if the scan is clear, we'll have to look at a preventative prescription.

No mention of tumors or worms... but my brain has been spinning out ever since. I keep drifting into planning mode... and that turns into tears. 

Why am I like this?

Neurotic.

I hate it.

I see it.

I am helpless to stop it.

So for now, I have super-mondo pain killers for the pain. They are not addictive in any way... I made certain to ask the pharmacist - whom I am certain tells his family stories about me at night... anyway, he assured me there was no risk of that - and now, I wait until I get in for the scan. Should give me ample time to devise some god-awful disease.

Did I ever mention I'm exhausting?

So far the super-mondo pain killers aren't doing much... but she indicated with this bad boy, I may need to take a few before it will start to work... so I'll take a second one before I go to bed. Hopefully that will help break this bastard.

Also. I seriously hope I don't have a tumor or a sack of anything in my head.

GAH!

D-Out 





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