Goulash or Ghoulish?
Goulash is what I made for dinner last night.
My kids hate it.
My hubs loves it, alas, he was not at home.
Goulash is what they got, though.
Mind you, I don't really make a true goulash. I use spaghetti sauce and rotini noodles, with big chunks of mushroom.
Mind you, I don't really make a true goulash. I use spaghetti sauce and rotini noodles, with big chunks of mushroom.
My love for cooking is in a coma, like every other positive thing about me. It's very sad.
My joy in anything has waned significantly.
I find I am struggling with the simplest of things.
I'm Exhaust(ed) and (ing).
My life is so super boring.
A snooze-fest.
Lack luster.
According to a Chinese proverb, that's what I should be striving for. Boredom.
"We live in interesting times. They are times of danger and uncertainty."
"We live in interesting times. They are times of danger and uncertainty."
I should be grateful. There is nothing wrong. Nothing interesting.
Well... there are things wrong... the government just nabbed my tax return because of some credit I got 2 years ago that I apparently didn't apply for, nor qualify for, and now they are yanking it back... which isn't life altering, but I really could have used the $500 infusion and I think it's pretty shitty to do business the way they do. Had that come off of last year's taxes, like it should have, it would have reduced the amount paid to my trustee in bankruptcy.
Speaking of... our trustees are imbeciles and highly unprofessional. We were told in person we were to be discharged, but sent a letter stating we were in for 12 more months. We've been waiting four months to find out our amended payment - with NO payments being processed during this time... which just means it's accumulating... and they simply don't get back to me about it. No call, no email, no letters. It's making me homicidal.
My job is a snore-fest.
I don't feel like the time is right to make a change, but I am so bloody bored on the daily, I'm afraid I'll lose all shreds of intelligence if I stay much longer. I'm really too stupid to do much else at present and I would not be doing us any favours by making more money so long as we are tangled up in this fucking bankruptcy. Seems silly, don't you think? It is smarter to stay unemployed - or in my case, under employed than to strive to succeed and make my overall life better. It wouldn't even be so bad if the actual creditors saw a jeezly dime of the money we pay into that filing, but it is only the trustee that sees any money. It's a fucked system all the way around.
My friend circle has dropped out of existence. I finally did it... I chased everyone away. Now what? I feel like that scene in Beaches where Bette is asking her hubby, John Heard what she's supposed to do without a best friend. It sucks!
Recently, I was speaking with my father... a thing I do not do on the regular. I told him I would have the last thousand of the money I owed him by the end of April. To that, he replied he did not want me to worry about that... that it had been "paid off the line of credit and he didn't need it - buy something for the girls", he said. The little girl inside of me burst into tears of joy... but the crusty, old, bitter shell of what I used to be is being prideful and cutting off her nose to spite her face.
Sadly, I do not have the money I had planned to be able to pay him - due to my husband getting a week of no work... that sucks up a grand in a mad hurry. This blows! Now I can't be a douche and pay him back to spite him... and I can't 'not' pay it back and enjoy the fact that my father wanted to do something helpful for a change... because I don't even have it! ARGH!
My mother said I would be being mean to force it on him. I disagree, but maybe the universe wanted me to be more gracious than I am currently being.
Perhaps I need a karmic boost.
Nothing is any fun anymore.
My husband is nervous, as I am drifting. He is now pushing me to take dancing lessons with him... not that it wouldn't be fun to do that - it would be... it just isn't going to provide the quick fix he is wanting.
See - it must be exhausting to be him some days... not only does the poor bastard work a zillion hours per week, but he has to be the dog and pony show for my entertainment out of fear of losing my interest.
I'm exhausting... and I don't even mean to be.
Well... there are things wrong... the government just nabbed my tax return because of some credit I got 2 years ago that I apparently didn't apply for, nor qualify for, and now they are yanking it back... which isn't life altering, but I really could have used the $500 infusion and I think it's pretty shitty to do business the way they do. Had that come off of last year's taxes, like it should have, it would have reduced the amount paid to my trustee in bankruptcy.
Speaking of... our trustees are imbeciles and highly unprofessional. We were told in person we were to be discharged, but sent a letter stating we were in for 12 more months. We've been waiting four months to find out our amended payment - with NO payments being processed during this time... which just means it's accumulating... and they simply don't get back to me about it. No call, no email, no letters. It's making me homicidal.
My job is a snore-fest.
I don't feel like the time is right to make a change, but I am so bloody bored on the daily, I'm afraid I'll lose all shreds of intelligence if I stay much longer. I'm really too stupid to do much else at present and I would not be doing us any favours by making more money so long as we are tangled up in this fucking bankruptcy. Seems silly, don't you think? It is smarter to stay unemployed - or in my case, under employed than to strive to succeed and make my overall life better. It wouldn't even be so bad if the actual creditors saw a jeezly dime of the money we pay into that filing, but it is only the trustee that sees any money. It's a fucked system all the way around.
My friend circle has dropped out of existence. I finally did it... I chased everyone away. Now what? I feel like that scene in Beaches where Bette is asking her hubby, John Heard what she's supposed to do without a best friend. It sucks!
Recently, I was speaking with my father... a thing I do not do on the regular. I told him I would have the last thousand of the money I owed him by the end of April. To that, he replied he did not want me to worry about that... that it had been "paid off the line of credit and he didn't need it - buy something for the girls", he said. The little girl inside of me burst into tears of joy... but the crusty, old, bitter shell of what I used to be is being prideful and cutting off her nose to spite her face.
Sadly, I do not have the money I had planned to be able to pay him - due to my husband getting a week of no work... that sucks up a grand in a mad hurry. This blows! Now I can't be a douche and pay him back to spite him... and I can't 'not' pay it back and enjoy the fact that my father wanted to do something helpful for a change... because I don't even have it! ARGH!
My mother said I would be being mean to force it on him. I disagree, but maybe the universe wanted me to be more gracious than I am currently being.
Perhaps I need a karmic boost.
Nothing is any fun anymore.
My husband is nervous, as I am drifting. He is now pushing me to take dancing lessons with him... not that it wouldn't be fun to do that - it would be... it just isn't going to provide the quick fix he is wanting.
See - it must be exhausting to be him some days... not only does the poor bastard work a zillion hours per week, but he has to be the dog and pony show for my entertainment out of fear of losing my interest.
I'm exhausting... and I don't even mean to be.
D-out
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