Platitude Paradise

Oh how I loved The Shining ... This is all I have this early in the day. Plus, I have to do actual work this morning - I KNOW, RIGHT???

And if just ONE of you asks me who that is, I swear - I'll lose it!! Greatest comedy of all time (in my humble opinion) Too damned funny - WATCH ...I waive my private parts at your aunties (too) ...

Okay - I realize I missed last week. Last week, I subscribed to the concept that if you couldn't say sumping nice (or in my case, bitingly sarcastic) - say nothing at all ... sooooo, I said nothing. This week, however I have my happy place in my sights and my intention is to scratch the hell outta that suckah. I have decided to make a list of things I love. Yup ... dats it, and here goes (in no particular order): Sunrise - not that I see it often (and this really only works if you stay up until) but there is most certainly magic in a sunrise ... you can almost taste it. Renovating/home design - I dig it. It's something my hubby and I have been doing for the past 10 years together and I never really get tired of dreaming up new designs. Drinking - yeah, I know ... d'uh. Really though ...my liver may disagree, but I love to drink. It's good. Science - I really love science stuff .. you know, space and geology and the study of the ocean ... even biology ... I...

You need to go here CLICK RIGHT HERE and read this poem. I think this is really REALLY good, and I wanted to share (with anyone who didn't already follow "Spot") her delightfully creepy poem. Just do it - OKAY??

Alright - I won't do this again ... my bad. GP wins my undying respect and admiration even though he hate Alanis' CD. Eyvi - you were a close 2nd and you already have my unyielding respect and admiration. AVP - you were the first to guess Floyd ... but had the wrong song ... though it was an unfair question since their song titles are obscure at best. Great effort Spot! Thanks for answering first, Xtreme - you ROCK! Here are the answers ... sorry my musical repertoire is not to your liking ... (some of you) but I have no plans to change it any time soon. I encourage all you ladies to have a gander at the conveniently included vid for Chris Cornell's Scream. Isn't he lovely??? Thanks again Eyvi - my dreams'll never be the same now that you've introduced us. 1) Throwing out the blame when you know it ain't my fault Messing with my brain when you want to see me fall Chris Cornell - Scream ... and thank YOU Eyvi for bringing this fantabulous man into m...

Play my effing quiz, damnit!!! I don't care if you email or post in the comments ... just play with me, damnit!!!

Okay ... so I've caught the quiz bug from Xtreme . Here's the deal, I have painstakingly typed out lyrics from some of my music repatoire. Whoever can figure out the song/artist/group ... whatevs ... wins! What do you win, you may ask?? My respect and admiration for being so damned kool and having a varied and vast music appreciation. (My money is on Eyvi, since her musical taste is fairly similar to mine ... but Spot seems to live inside my head sometimes ... so not so sure ... PS - speaking of ghost stories... is it terribly scary in there, Spot???) Here goes:  1) Throwing out the blame when you know it ain't my fault Messing with my brain when you want to see me fall 2) I got me a car, it's as big as a whale and it's about to set sail ... I got me a car, it seats about 20 so hurry up and bring your juke box money 3) I've got a freaky old lady, name o'Cocaine Katie who emroiders all my jeans 4) So you run and you run to catch up with the sun, b...

Alrighty-roo ... this is the second award I snagged for myself - again, thanks Spot. You'll make my head get fat. For this one, I am supposed to tell you stuff about myself that you don't already know. (You have to do this too if you are tagged as my "awardee's") : 1) I still love my hubby's ass. Even after all these years and all the things I know about it and what it is capable of ... it still butters my muffin. 2) I do not like tomatoes. I have tried. I just can't do it. It's too much like eating an eyeball. Even salsa (which I love) must be run through a blender first or I can not eat it. 3) I have a serious aversion to eyes. Seriously - do NOT rub yer fricken eyeballs in my presense. Ask Eyvi, she's really bad for that. 4) I quit highschool at the age of 17 (beginning of grade 11). I never went back. Got my grade 12 via correspondance when I was 22. (In case you are curious, I flipped my bicky and wound up so chronically agoraphobic,...

Okay - I have the astute pleasure of passing on my blog award. (Thanks very much Spot - it's oddly spine tingling when someone luvs ya enough to pass out an award ...) So ... there are a couple of blogs that fall into this category for me. I'm not 100% certain I am clear on the rules, but I seem to have issues with rules anyway, so screw it - I'll wing it :) My favorite "Over the Top" blog is Welcome to Stabby Mart . Doran - you make my tummy hurt. There's a good chance you may not be as knocked over by this nomination as I am - as you seem to march to your own drum ... but you are the top of that list for me. Consider yourself awarded :) Next on that list (other than two of my favs already in posession of this ... U know who you are Mark n Spot) would be Meeko Fabulous at Ramblings of a Disgruntled Secretary . You are a scream ... and you make me laugh whenever your post. So - I am told I have to perform some sort of thingy in order to get my award .....

My children have their very own pets. Smelly, poopie, rodent pets. They are "degus" ... that's "day-goos" and not "day-goes" as my mother lovingly refers to them. They are pretty cute, really ... and wicked smart. Here's what they look like: Kinda cute, right? Well ... I thought so too ... until this past weekend when I learned the ugly truth about Degus ... they are fricken DIVAS!!! DIVUS, if you will. We have a special mix of food for the little darlings that consists of pellets that do not contain gluten or molasses of any sort (which incidentally is MUCH more expensive than the other) and an assortment of special seeds. We have to "prepare" this mixture as the pet stores do not. Well ... we ran out of seeds at the end of last week. Not pellets, but seeds. Nobody forewarned me, but apparently this was specifically written into their contracts, the little darlins - because the broo-ha-ha that ensued left me wondering what kind of l...

I got this great idea from Mark over at The Screenplay . He was reminiscing about his first car ... er truck, in his case. It got me to thinking about my first putt putt. Ahhh the memories. My first car was a Renault Fuego. Yup! That's my girl ... well a pretty reasonable facsimile thereof. My step dad had a thing for Renaults. Not really sure why. He owned several transmission shops and would often be seen driving Beemers and Jags and such ... in fact he owned two XJ12's ... but for some crazy reason, these Renaults captivated him somehow. They were insanely expensive to fix. Oy!! I remember the motor went in my wiper blades and the part it needed to fix the problem (not a new motor ... just a part for it) was over $1500.00 ... namely because it had to come straight from France and keep in mind, this was a lifetime away from the likes of ebay. We had a surplus of these crazy cars ... in all forms in our back driveway. Like I said ... he had a strange obsession. He collected...

Well ... it is No Whining Wednesday once again. I feel confident in the fact that somewhere, somebody is betting against me on this little venture. It is a sumptuously fantabulous fall day outside today. The kind of day that takes your breath away, just driving to work in the morning. I drove my Bug to school today as she's going to start tripping on those eyelashes if I keep dragging her by them (to the bus stop) ... when she stepped out onto our covered deck and looked out across the water (we have a great view of the ocean), she took a deep breath in and filled up her little lungs. Normally, I would not have been paying close enough attention in my rush to get to work on time, but it is NWW and, that in mind ... I was smelling the proverbial roses. Ever so grateful I did... She looked up at me and said "Oh Mommy! Fall smells sum good!!" (I am misting up just thinking about it.) It really does, though fall is a double edged blade for me ... but that is for another...

It has been an eventful day at the swamp ... ya know - home of the dragonfly family... I'm still feeling the effects of this nasty flu-bug I seem to have contracted. I'm leaning toward the idea of poisoning it out of me with some good old fashioned rum. Ah ... Captain Morgan ... how do I love thee ... let me count the ways... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 976, 977, 978, 979 ... This morning, I am sitting at my kitchen table, having a broken conversation around my little damsel flies with my mother. We are just shooting the shit and wasting the day. My eldest child is seated at her father's computer just outside the kitchen in the front hall ... but my shorty is missing, I realize. I stop ... engage my super mommy hearing ... dodidledooo (you have to hear it like an old spaghetti western) ...  and then I hear the sound of a balloon being blown up .... whooosh - deep breath in - whooosh - deep breath in ... etc. So my attention turns back to trying to figure out where I was in our ...

Well ... I am seriously sick. I am in that throbbing, aching, coughing, sneezing, hacking, snuffelupagus, misery ... that surprisingly does not love company. Though I actually found myself bored yesterday afternoon. Moreso tired of feeling shitty. So after commenting on a blog last week, it got me to thinking ... I can say a lot about that power tool for whom I work, but the funny thing is what I get away with saying to him. I've come out with some doozies. Some intentionally and some simply because I let a little of my 'blonde' shine through. Take two weeks ago ... Narci was in my office prattling on about how we need to be 'nice' to the various people we work with in the industry ~ little side bar ... apart from all my venting in this blog - I am pathetically sweet to people I want something from ... just ask my husband. I can charm people like they are my personal basket of snakes and have them dancing whatever tune I choose ... so for this ego-maniacal freak...

I hab a code in my node. Poor Danica ... what a sin... (I'm patting my own head) A few things that have occured to me in the past day or so (and I'm thinking it's quite a co-inky-dink that this coincides with the onset of my cold symptoms and thus commencment of taking drugs for such) <-- did that make sense to anyone else?? Where was I? Oh yeah ... it has occured to me that there are cameras located throughout the office. One outside, one at the front desk. These are the ones I know about ... To the very best of my knowledge, they have not been activated inside as yet ... but who really knows. He's the paranoid type, my boss - dunno WTF his problem is ... I'm just waiting for the sticky note on my desk that says: or Big Bro is watchin', man ... Or my personal fav---> I wonder if he can read my thoughts??? I think I should fashion a tin foil helment for my trips downstairs ... just in case... though if he could read my thoughts, he...

Hmmmmmmm ... I wonder if death threats are considered whining? Okay - here goes... Today, I am whine-less (meaning less of whine) because: Narcissus is not in the office, thus the act of unclenching my ass cheeks has caused an over all feeling of good will and general peace. my eldest offspring made it to the bus stop this morning on time and without being dragged by her eyelashes. my youngest offspring is getting her very first class picture taken EVER today. while commenting on my good buddy, Eyvi's blog ... some distant part of my once present intelligence called out in horror at my attempt to spell physically with an 'f'' even though it took my overly medicated bean several moments too long to figure out why. I read scintillating blogs and the very thought that there is new fodder for satiating my gluttonous imagination renders me ripe with the promise of new thoughts and inspiration ... not to mention stark, green-eyed jealousy ... but only the good ...

I knew if I was cocky enough to dare the universe, I'd lose. Yesterday, I took my dog, Cooper and my cat, Chloe to the vet. Cooper was due for shots and had an ear infection and Chloe had injured her shoulder. I wish like hell I hadn't taken Chloe. Turned out the injury to her shoulder was, in fact a massive tumor. She had been previously diagnosed positive for feline lukemia. She must've had it when we got her as she had never been an outdoor cat. For anyone who isn't familiar, feline lukemia is essentially kitty AIDS. It isn't catchy to humans and we never allowed her around other cats, so we opted to keep her so long as she remained healthy. During the visit to the vet, Chloe was sedated in the hope of getting an x-ray. It didn't seem to knock her out enough so the vet was preparing to give her a full anestetic. After sitting in the exam room for a half hour while this miserable bitch of a vet saw to another patient, I decided to spare Chloe any further...

Here's a story I may hesitate to tell my kids - or at least not in its truthful entirety. This is a story I don't readily offer in social settings. It's a strange tale of lust and crazy ... and quite possibly kismet ... all tied up together. I'll warn you - there are points to this anecdote that will make you shake your head in sheer embarrassment (for me) and others that may make you change your mind about me completely. I hope in the end, I have entertained someone. This is the story of how I met my hubby: I used to work for a large financial institution ...  one February afternoon in 1996, a new business account client entered my branch. He proceeded to the counter provided to clients for getting their poop in a group prior to approaching the counter. Let me say that as a former teller - people who have an affinity for grouping their poop have a special place in my heart, so please don't let the following deter anyone from doing so. I was basic...