I. Am. Seething.



chat·tel
ˈCHadl/
noun
  1. (in general use) a personal possession.
    • LAW
      an item of property other than real estate.



I do not even know where to start, I am so fucking violently angry right now!

I could chew nails.

I am not chattel. Hear me, universe? NOT CHATTEL!

Not even certain why I am attempting to write anything. 

I can scarcely breathe, I am choking on so many words... and expletives... and rage.

I can't stand someone trying to exert control over me - especially when it muddies the water around their sensibility. 

People, I'm here to tell you that anyone who forgets that EVERYBODY has a tipping point where they begin to devolve... (you know the point I mean - where everybody becomes their own brand of cunt)... it is unwise to forget that even moderately sweet, dumb, doe-eyed Dani has such a point.

I truly do believe that those closest to me are of the belief they are so damned much smarter than me, they can get away with the most asinine tactics, breaches of power and mind-fuckery!

This anger is a slow burner. It has a fuse that was lit quite a number of years ago. I have been trying to put lipstick on it ... trying to cover it up in the litter box of life... even hiding myself from it. I know all too well, that when it truly ignites, it will blow a hole out the side of my life. 

This is not how I want to be feeling right now.
I was good.
I was happy.
I was controlled.
Now everything is fucked up! My head is fucked up! My thoughts are horrifying!

I do not want to feel this.

Perhaps it is best there are only a couple of possible casualties around this evening.




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