Platitude Paradise

Yeah, yeah - I know what yer thinkin' ... whaz up wid the new look?? Dani-fly? Really? Well - it wouldn't fit any other way ... not really a sessy reason, but the truth. And the pic? A gal can dream, can't she? I am trying the whole 'positive projection' thang... and I positively would love to project THAT image. So, this is my new look for a while ... and yes, I change my furniture around this often. It would appear I bore easily when it comes to decor - even in cyber space. ************************************************************************************ Okay, I just hung up the phone from Mr Dragonfly. The conversation was mostly mundane up until this part: Mr D: Well hun, if you WANT to do some decorating (and no, I didn't) you could always go downstairs and grab that set of bush lights. Me: Bush lights? *snickers like a pervy teenaged boy* Mr D: *oblivious* Yeah, you know, the mini lights ... to decorate your bush. Me: Bahhh haa haa haa h...

This morning as I was preparing myself for my day, I stood in front of my bathroom mirror and began the spackle and plaster process. I'm pretty efficient when it comes to getting ready in the morning ... and by efficient, I mean I really don't give a crap lately. It's a sign of the time of year for me  - I don't tend to fare well during this particular time of year (this is not really the subject of my post today, though). During my prep routine, there is a natural clock in my head that tells me to clean (the shit) out(ta) my ears every three days. I don't do it consciously ... it's a natural reflex-type action. Like my ears suddenly take on an urgent sense about themselves (yes - I have rather obviously ignored the 'resistance' felt upon sticking said cotton swab too far into my ear ... like you didn't already know this). For the entire time my cat Chloe lived with us, she used to jump up on the counter and insist on being loved while I was gett...

First, I have had another blog award bestowed upon me. I once felt somewhat covet-y ...covet-ous? ... covet-some? ...envious! about these awards. Having said that, I am not so sure  everyone shares that opinion. I notice some of the cooler kids don't display theirs ... what's up with that??? None the less, I will take it (see incurable attention whore) and display it proudly on my page. Thank you, Eyvi... 7 things about me ... hmmm. I have played this game once before. Can I think of 7 more things of any interest to tell you? Here goes: 1) I can not sleep if there is a drawer or closet door open anywhere in my house (of which I am aware) ... I had recurring nightmares as a child of various ghoulies and all around malevolent entities escaping them. 2) The TP roll MUST roll UNDER! No exceptions. (I wonder why nobody refills the TP at my house???) 3) I do not like tomatoes. I have tried ... sincerely tried to eat tomatoes my entire life ... too much like an eyeball. I...

All is right (well almost still waitin' on Geep...) with my world. Now I can get back to my day... Thanks, Admin ... Here's a funny for the rest of you, since this may not be of interest...

Alright! I totally know I am about to show very bad bloggy form indeed by what I am about to do here ... but it MUST be done, for my paranoid little bean can not handle the snub any longer. Why is it, that the only two people for whom I professed my cyber-lovin' (on my big ol' sooky post) are noticeably absent from the comments section? Hmmm? Admin and Geep - I is talkin' to yous. Too verklempt to respond? So very very touched, you couldn't form the words to express your undying agreement?? Hmm? I am crushing your heads bitches... crushing and crushing (I'm using your profile pictures for this, of course) Okay - I'm done now. You may continue your regularly scheduled programming at this time. PS - Exactly WHAT part of attention whore did you people NOT understand? Watch Video ------> CRUSH CRUSH CRUSH I started with Kids in the Hall ... but that was waaayyy better :)

First - I am as full as an egg. Och. Second, my mother heard those six little words that anyone in my family shudders to hear (see title). See, as previously mentioned, I made lasagna tonight for dinner. I am a decent cook. I am not Julia Childs, but I usually enjoy cooking and therefore, don't do a half bad job. (Bearing in mind that my people would starve to death if I moved out, I am sure) On some items, I am somewhat renound ... my spaghetti, my omlettes, my roast beast. So, I already said I had to make my own arfin' b-day dinner ... and I was all stoic and mature n' crap about it ... but that was before "the incident". We finished dinner and Mom was picking up dishes off the table and she says (as casual as can be) ... "I don't remember ... I mean, I don't recall it being 'bad' or anything, but I don't remember your lasagna being so ... good". SKANK!!! My eyes narrowed as she was sputtering, trying - to no avail - to suck tha...

Yesterday was my 37th birthday. I was sick for the entire day and mighty worried I was in for a pretty miserable few days. I went to work and did my thing (I know I should have stayed home, but that is not the sort of place I work in) and the gals at my office threw a little lunch time party for me, complete with chinese food and cake ... and card and song and even a gift certificate for a hair-do at a local salon (okay - so you know your "do" is a "don't" when you get a certificate like this from your co-workers... unclench, Eyvi - I know I've been bitching about my hair for months ... I'm just funnin'). To them, I say TYVM ... for making me gain 5 more pounds... no, I'm kiddin' again - I am so touched. Thanks guys - you ROCK! I don't plan to spend a whole bunch of time yaking about the 'day' itself. It's just that birthdays have a tendancy to cause somewhat of a retrospective thought path ... especially when one is campe...

This could easily be my favorite day of the week! Why? You may (or may not) ask. Well, I'm sure it won't shock your socks off to learn I intend to tell you. So sit down, shut up and hang on... (Geez - I could make Supah's White Trash list yet ...) I love Thursdays because it's almost Friday ... like Christmas Eve is almost Christmas ... and because my three favorite shows come on tonight ... and because ... er, see below. Without further ado, it's time for another round of  *does drum roll on desk that I am supposed to be doing real work on at moment* Thank You Very Much Thursday TYVM Diana Gabaldon - for creating Jamie Fraser's character, completely blowing my husband's chances for effective coupling until he can master a Scot's accent. TYVM Stretch - for asking Mommy if she carried a baby in her bum as well as her belly (after noticing one was as flabby as the other) ... honey, you are swell. TYVM Shorty - for making Mommy blow milk out her ...

Today, I am supposed to be busily catching up on all the work I missed yesterday while on course. I will maybe write a post later, but for now I will take just two minutes and pass on an award I totally stole off someone else's page and bestow it upon Mark. You can visit Mark at The Screenplay , but he is taking a little hiatus for right now. This one is for you! Display it with pride ... and you don't have to do a single thing with it, except know that I really mean it. D

It would seem I have myself somewhat of a talented dog. Yup, he's a regular Rembrant with his fecal offerings. Why just the other day, I was greeted in my driveway (directly in front of my tenants' preferred door, I may add) by the most spectacular site. While I realize this is somewhat a Canadian thing, it is my hope that at minimum, with the onslaught of the Olympic Ceremonies, you'll all have some knowledge of what this creature is. An Inukshuk. It's purpose? To signal the inhabitation of human life forms. It would seem, my dog has rendered his own homage to this figure - by way of what I lovingly refer to as an Inukshit. I SHIT YOU NOT!!! I would've gotten a photo, but my husband creamed it into the pavement of our driveway in his haste to get to work on time. An error I'm certain he soon regretted by the apparent ripened state of said molding material. I couldn't make this stuff up, people. I am curious if our tenants (or bisitors as Shor...

I suppose all will be happy to hear that my funk has passed ... for now. I am back on speaking terms with my boy. I really hope that does not happen again. I need him to have my back ... I simply can not do this if he's on the outside too. But we are much better now. I think my tenants' relationship may have ended last night. One of them (the one with the car ... oh - and the job) left and hasn't been back. I wouldn't know all of this except that my hubby was in the basement clearing up after our latest painting job and when you are in the basement, the noise from the apartment travels. So does the smell of smoke ... but not 'regular' smoke, in this case. I really can't believe how non-observant I am getting. I smelled that smoke on a half dozen occasions and knew it had an oddness about it ... but it didn't occur to me until my Mom mentioned speaking with "her" and how she seemed kinda ... spacey. BLINK!!! On came the lights. Just how mu...

HERE Come visit. :)

Wowzers ... I hardly feel deserving at present. Marky Mark has awarded me with the preceding accolade for my "sweetness"??? Uhhh ... thanks Mark? Have you READ my blog? Ever? I'm not sweet. I'm actually borderline vile ... full of vitriol and rage. Like ... my sweet cake would have smashed light bulbs and anti freeze in it. Know what I'm sayin'??? I might steal your cupcake and lick all the icing off it and hand it back to you ... fully infected with a trail from my acid tongue ... yeah - that sounds like me... I mean I'm totally taking it - 'cause let's face it ... I'm an attention whore of epic proportions ... but ... REALLY? I'm the SWEETEST?? Ah well ... I am sure Mark is referring to my sweet, sweet passionate ranting - that must be it. Either way, I thank you - for thinking of me and am as touched and honored as if I had won Miss Congeniality at the local beauty pagent ... *laughs cynically to self* I may need to thi...

***Since it is No Whining Wednesday, I will regale you with a mindless story from my youth - I wrote this while inebriated, so please consider the source.   When I was a kid, one of my closest friends was Clarke. He was actually pretty hot stuff - looked like a taller, more beefy version of Ralph Macchio (ya know - the Karate Kid) - but he was family to me. Clarke never once entered our house by using a door. He always came in through my bedroom window. It was not unusual for him to trek across the road in the morning (in summer, of course) pop my window open and crawl right into bed with me. I know what you are thinking, but it was as though my mom viewed him as a unik or something. She never even flinched when he'd come up to the kitchen with me in the mornings. He used to grab my hand when he had an itch and "scratch himself" with it - and Mom would just laugh. Looking back, I think she was nuts to let him treat her teen aged daughter like that, but as I said - he ...

Should I email Hallmark?

Somebody call 911!! On Friday evening, as my lady-bugs and I made our way home, I had popped a CD into the player in the car and half of a recent Billboard Top 100 began to play. (Thanks, Eyvi - BTW). My girls are pretty interested in music (no surprise there, really) and usually enjoy that type on our commute. We listened to a few of my favs ... they rocked out to some 'Peas' ... "Tonight's Gonna Be A Good Night" and "Boom Boom Pow" were big hits ... they also really like "Say Hey" (Michael Franti) ... but then (as we were nearing the house) Sean Kingston's new song came on. For anyone who has an interest in hearing it, you can follow this link: Call 911 (dumb-ass video, though) Well! "Bee" ... aka, "Shorty" (a nick name given long before I realized it was the new call name for a chick by hip hop singers...) pipes up and say (rather emphatically, I might add) "Hmph ... this is a bad song! You can't just ca...

This would be the Dragonfly family Halloween outing. Lemme just point out the fact that I have an unholy fear of clowns ... I'm just sayin'. Scary nightmares for me last night ... well, except for: The spoils of Halloween. With the kids safely in their candy induced comas, me an the clown did some chemical relaxin' ... and pillaging of the kidlett's candy :) ... in the name of safety, of course. Well ... Halloween under our belts (quite literally, I'm afraid) on to my FAV holiday ... bring on HO HO!!