Today's Mood

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The Thorny, Misshapen Chunk of Awful that's Stuck in my Throat

  I am dreadful. B y that, I mean I am full of dread. I picture it as black smoke.   Curling up and around my stomach. Under my ribs and circling my heart. It finishes in a double knot around my throat.  This smoke has the power to constrict... like a snake.  I see it in my mind's eye.  Squeezing the life out of me.  I can't get food past it.  I feel like I'm gasping for oxygen. Is this how it feels when your heart truly breaks? I never thought I would ever experience something so wrong with my relationship. It truthfully is the ONLY thing I have ever had going for me. I was even a little cocky about it sometimes. But now... I can't seem to make any peace with it. I haven't felt this insecure... ever! My mind is so full of noise.  Confirmation of my awful-ness. From the only person I've ever been truly accepted by. My best friend. My partner and protector with whom, I've weathered terrible storms again and again... but those storms were external ...
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Quiz ... Thanks for the Idear, Xtreme!

Okay ... so I've caught the quiz bug from Xtreme . Here's the deal, I have painstakingly typed out lyrics from some of my music repatoire. Whoever can figure out the song/artist/group ... whatevs ... wins! What do you win, you may ask?? My respect and admiration for being so damned kool and having a varied and vast music appreciation. (My money is on Eyvi, since her musical taste is fairly similar to mine ... but Spot seems to live inside my head sometimes ... so not so sure ... PS - speaking of ghost stories... is it terribly scary in there, Spot???) Here goes:  1) Throwing out the blame when you know it ain't my fault Messing with my brain when you want to see me fall 2) I got me a car, it's as big as a whale and it's about to set sail ... I got me a car, it seats about 20 so hurry up and bring your juke box money 3) I've got a freaky old lady, name o'Cocaine Katie who emroiders all my jeans 4) So you run and you run to catch up with the sun, b...
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Hubs Said F*@k

No, no ... you don't understand. My husband does not use profanity like I do. He's a good Irish Catholic Newfie boy. He says "shit" now and then ... but fuck? Nuh-uh. I did the bi-weekly grocery shopping last night on my way home from work. I friggen detest the grocery store like the plague, but it has to be done - and apparently I have to do it. Hubs had agreed to take the girls to their school's Spring Fling. Aw ... pity, I was going to miss all the fun! (Suddenly spending two hours of my time and most of my pay cheque in the grocery store didn't seem quite so bad.) Anyhoo ... when I got home, they were back and I noticed immediately that something was wrong with my husband. You need to know something about this man ... he has two moods: His usual patient, work-a-day self ... and horny. That's pretty much it. I have enough moods for all of us, so it really works quite well. But last night, he was pissed. Like, really pissed. I asked him seve...
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