"Mother of the Year" is IN THE BAG!

This has been a toughy of a week.

I did not go to work this morning because I could barely lift my head off my pillow, it hurt that bad. It was everything I had not to cut it off myself just to stop the pain.

I'm assuming my head is the result of a highly stressful week with my eldest child... who is to no longer be referred to as female... or male. "They" are/is (fucked if I know) non-binary. Also, I am not to refer to "them" as previously being female, either.

This was the bomb dropped upon my arrival home on Tuesday afternoon.

I said every possible wrong thing you can imagine. Or at least a whole bunch of wrong things... but at first I just kept my mouth shut. Apparently my body language was saying something of offense prior to my verbally confirming it.

The other one chimed in upon one of my first "wrong things" said... and my response to her was: "I don't recall asking for your opinion". That sent her storming out of the room in a fury. Two birds, one stone.

I'm at a loss as to what I am to do. This kid is not openly liked at school... and 'came out' to "their" class last week as non-binary. To this action, I'm left wondering why anyone would wantonly do that to themselves... but "they" reminded me that if everyone did that, there would be no forward movement in that community.

It isn't that "they" are/is without a point. 

I can't help but feel that Stretch might be using this as something to sharpen "their" teeth upon.

It has been a gaping maw... the trap that has been laid for me. Like Stretch is throwing this around to get a feel for a big issue... at the expense of the rest of the family. I know that sounds dismissive... I guess it is somewhat dismissive of me... but I just don't feel that openly embracing this is the best path to follow. Not that I'm going to openly discourage, but I'm not yet modern enough to openly encourage it either. I support the child. I don't care if "they" are a "he" or a "she" or an "it" for that matter, I just want some happiness for this kid.

This just seems like a bad way to play things... I may as well have named this kid "throw the basketball at my head" Dragonfly. Oh and that's another topic that's been broached. The changing of the name... along with being fitted for a chest binder and even (ever so subtly) hormone therapy. 

Fuck Me!

Last night was Wednesday. I went to my bestie's place after work... I'm trying to be better at socializing, I really am... plus I was not in a big hairy hurry to come home and face my children. I stayed until around 8ish and then headed home. I wasn't in the door for three minutes before she... sorry, "they" were/was wailing at me how unfair I was being.

I had been asked if "they" could attend a youth group for gender queer youth. I said I'd think about it. Then I was told the next meeting was in one week... the night before the final math exam. I didn't even say no. I said I would speak to "their" father before making any final decision.

Kah-Blooey!!!

It was highly unfortunate. I really didn't want to fight.... but that didn't matter.

I'm at a loss. I truly am out of my depth here. I don't know how to appropriately handle this... and although it's unlikely to have been any help what so ever, my husband has been away for most of the fight.