Shake It Out




Oh man!
I gotta let this go.

I hate when this foolishness comes. I hate who I am when I swing low. Every word of this tripe fills me with a flood of self hatred... but 'they' tell me to write. 'They' being the various experts that have had a hand in my progress to date. 'They're' all I've got. I have to at least try it their way.

I find myself angry about things that are quite possibly irrational. I mean, there is an underlying issue with the division of household responsibility, but it's obvious I am being a little dramatic. Don't get me wrong, I'm truly very angry. The emotional response is the same, but I can actually see that I'm out of whack. 

So... I'm aware of the fact that I am being unreasonable... mind you, unless he is reading this blog, my spouse would have no clue I've been so twisted... so I guess no harm, no foul. Still... This is very uncool... and in some ways, I feel like my response is getting worse. The time it takes me to spot the behavior has lessened drastically, but it's like I go from zero to a hundred in seconds.

It's exhausting.
I'm exhausting.

Plus I haven't had sex in twelve days.

My coochie has been healing, but I was rather sick over the weekend and then away Sunday night. Now he's gone to the Island, hopefully home tomorrow... I'm feeling very detached. Among other things.

Ulch!

Rain rain, go away.

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