Friday, September 24, 2010

Friday Funnies

I thought perhaps due to some general malaise in the bloggy world this week ... some mine ... some belonging to other people that matter in my world.

I was going to write about stuff today, but I think this might be a better idea for Friday.

Without further ado ... I give you Friday Funnies:

Creation:

A little girl asked her  Mom, "How did the human race appear?"   
The Mom
  answered, "God  made Adam and Eve and they had children, 
and so was all mankind made.." 


 

Two days later the girl asked her Dad the same question.   
The Dad answered,
 
"Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved."  

 



The confused girl returned to her  mother and said, 
"Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God,
 
and Dad said they developed from monkeys?"  
 
The Mom answered,
 
"Well, Dear, it's very simple. I told you about my side of the family
 
and your father told you about his.."

New Study:

A study worth sharing with friends both male and female:

A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. For example: if she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest with a bat up his ass while he is on fire.

The hypnotist…


I feel sorry for the hypnotist I saw last night.
He hypnotized 7 men, then dropped the microphone on his foot and yelled "F#@K Me"......

What happened next will haunt me forever.

7 comments:

Spot said...

OMG! Thank you for the laugh!! Unfortunately, I was working on my laptop at the library today. I've now been asked to leave.

♥Spot

Amethyst Anne said...

Ok, so I read that it was a Friday Funny and I really should have NOT taken that sip of coffee before reading, especially when I made it to the second one and nearly short circuited my computer from the spew that occurred!!
I <3 you Dani girl!! TGIF my friend, TGIF!!

Amethyst Anne said...

Oh blasted boogernuts from small children- that was supposed to say I Heart you ...
Foiled again!

brite said...

"However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest with a bat up his ass while he is on fire."
Hahahahahaha...uh oh...I think I might have peed a little laughing like that! Thanks Dani...I needed this!

The Grasshoppa:Triplets Plus Two Momma said...

brrrrrrrrrillian!

That is me---rolling my "r". Can you hear it?

FabuLeslie said...

haha! Good ones! :)

The Real Me said...

I am SO glad I didnt see these on Friday. Friday was already a good day, today, these are absolutely the highlight of my day!

VERY FUNNY!