You bleeps are great ... and I am really happy to hear you guys still think I am entertaining. The reality is this: I wasn't being coy or fishing for praise ~ although I'll take it ... I mean what's an attention whore to do without praise? ~ but I was being serious.
I don't feel 'funny'. No, I don't mean I don't feel funny ... you see the dif? Work with me here ... 'cause let's face it - my life is so damned riveting we should all be so lucky as to sit down and pontificate over it endlessly - right? (Too bad - ya'll knew what you were signing on for ~ free therapy ... quit yer whining)
I find lately, I sit in front of a blank screen trying to remember something ... anything that is even remotely amusing to write about... with that hateful little blinking curser mocking me. Even when I do manage to burrow underneath all the monthly bill payments, useless work knowledge, school function days and times, cafeteria schedules, snack schedules, Seinfeld/Friends/Raymond reruns and extra curricular activities - and come up with something ... as soon as I start typing, it immediately starts to blow (...and for those of you taking umbrage with such a metaphor ... I mean the kind of blow that doesn't feel like a sneeze in your pants, only better - K?).
I am so fucking long winded. Shut up! Who just said: "well, D'UH"? You wanna piece a me??
I seem to have some burning desire to try and capture every little nuance of whatever asinine tale I am sharing ... why is that? I have started writing a number of posts that have never made it into the actual blog. Some of them because I have noticed I have started censoring my stuff - which is really stupid and I haven't a clue why I do that ... well perhaps that isn't entirely honest ... I want everyone to like me... dammit! But the resulting post - blows (please refer to the above explanation). Some of them because they get way outta hand and wordy - I know, right? There is stuff that is wordy enough to make me refrain from sharing ... frightening, no?
As an example, I have so much more to the story of Trigger and Jane ... it's good stuff, too ... like point and laugh stuff, but I churned out like eight paragraphs of crap that made ME want to skip to another post and I KNOW HOW FUNNY THIS SHIT IS. It's 'good times' funny. I mean I nearly had a coronary when I got the last bit of gossip from the resultant cackle emitted from my throat.
So, how do I simulate a drunken campfire story telling session when writing on a blog? OH MAH GAWD!! Wouldn't that be a great Meme? "Drunken Campfire Stories"? <--- that seriously just came to me. I couldn't participate, of course ... due to the fact that my WIND would blow the damned fire out ... but it's a cute idea.
My latest edition of "As the Worms Turn" requires some background ... should I make it a regular feature and work up slowly? Should I try and capture it in a point form situation? Or do I continue with the (lengthy) sardonic diatribe with which, I have fallen out of love?
I am schtuck. Which is imminently worse than being simply stuck, as you can see by the clever use of the 'ch' to emphasize the severity of stucktitude.
I leave it to you ... my lovelies, my bloggy conscience, you decide how best I can
bore you into tears regale you with yet another sparkling facet of Danica Dragonfly's fairytale life.
I'll be here ~ waiting ... with baited breath. Wait ... does that mean I have to eat worms?? I'm not doing that