Great Expectations

I anesthetize my life.

I know that I do.

I think much of it is more habit than necessity at present, but that doesn't stop me.

I'm drugged for Bi-Polar disorder.

I drink.

I smoke pot.

...but the reason I have been recently refused for life insurance, is the Bi-Polar meds - specifically, the mood stabilizer. Seems odd that something that helps me so much is causing such a stir with my insurer... so I don't know what to do. If I should go off those meds - that keep me from the depths of despair this time of year - in favour of having life insurance for my kids in the event of my untimely demise... or if I should try and change them to something acceptable to my insurer. Problem being, they are not overly forthcoming with information on what they will and won't do.

Argh.

This weekend, my hubs is taking me away for a hotel stay and dinner out. He's been pushing me to go and get my nails and hair done this week... and we are going shopping for an outfit or two for an upcoming work event.

I'm feeling very spoiled.

The lady that did my nails the other night asked, when I told her of my exciting date night, if I deserved it.

You know what? 
I do deserve it. 
100%

I'm a lot of things in this life, but at the top of the list is "Mom" and "Wife"... and I take those titles incredibly seriously. 
I'm good at it, shockingly enough.
I always thought I was maybe too selfish to truly be good at such selfless positions, but I embrace it entirely... most of the time.

In fact, I would say that in all ways but maybe two, I'm an awesome spouse... I just require more attention than only one man can give me, and I have a heart the figurative size of Texas... so that creates the odd issue... like growing little tendrils of affection for people I have no business 'affecting'. Otherwise, I'm about everything my spouse could possibly imagine for himself.

So, yeah... I deserve to be treated to a nice evening and some hotel sex (which is honestly all the treat hubs needs) and buying myself beauty services and new things makes me feel extra good... which my highly intelligent husband knows will pay off in spades for him.

It's a win/win, really.
I'm stoked!

We were originally supposed to go to the Casino in another province, but between my youngest being nervous to stay two nights alone and the total cost of such a trip, we opted to stay local and use points to secure lodging. I wish we could stay two nights, but it's really too busy to do that... and I have a Board Meeting this coming week, so I can't be too exhausted from all that sexy-yummy-fun-time to perform my other duties.

Anyhoo... I am supposed to be working, and though I am doing three different things as I type, I have some accounting that needs doing and that requires my closer to 'full' attention.

Cheers!

D-out


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