The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

The holiday season is upon us.

This is a big fricken deal in my house.

We painted our dining room and put up my beloved cards this weekend... and listened to Christmas music by the light of a fire. It was a very nice night. Honestly, it was a really good weekend, all the way around... plus my dining room looks so much better!

My hubby is getting on a plane and flying across the country to work for the next few days. 

I'm a little sad about that.

It seems I'm a little sad about a lot of things right now. 

I'm nostalgic... but in a more mopey, than wistful kinda way. 

It came to me while I was soaking in the tub this afternoon, what it is that I am missing about Christmas. 

You know the feeling I mean... that childish wonderment. The excitement and magic of it all.

The innocence. 

For all the time I have wondered why I could not recreate the feeling, it never occurred to me what it actually was.

It's impossible... I'm not innocent anymore.

I know things. 

Ugly things.

I really didn't start to get the taste of reality until after I brought children into my world. 

Ironically, that's when I most believed and basked in the innocence of those children... and I protected it and them fiercely. It's also when I shed the final vestiges of my own naivety, in favour of Mom armour. 

I have protected those children at all costs. 

It's about the only thing I can say for sure, but I know I did that much for them. 

This Christmas is going to be our best in a long time. I just know it. I'm going to snap out of my funk and get with the program here in the next week or so. I have a big chunk of my shopping done and paid for already. We just purchased a flocked artificial tree, second hand. Only used once. It is going to be gorgeous in my rec room. There will also be another (not flocked) one in the dining room and a real pine in the living room.

Welcome to Who-ville... please excuse us while we are under construction.

I have a cool idea for our kitchen wall with 3 or 5 shelves in the shape of a tree, decorated with boughs and varied ornaments. I'll paint them green before they go up... It will be really nice on the red wall.

My hubby is plotting out (and presenting for approval) outdoor decorations.

We go big here.

Last year, I made it through... that's the best I could give it.

Same thing for the past several years.

This year, I'm knocking it outta the park.

My babies are nearly grown and I have to stuff as much happiness and innocence into them as I can... build a barrier between them and the chillier aspects of reality.

No pressure...