Some 'Splainin'

First, let me say that my spirit is renewed so often by some of the wonderful people who read and comment on my blog that it is a constant state of surprise I find myself in. Thank you. I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

Second, I think I should expand slightly on my post from yesterday. I was cut a little short by the presence of my very pissed off and highly 'in my face' (not to mention up my ass) boss ... yes, you are detecting a note of indignation in my tone ... no, I will not apologize for blogging on company time ... well I would if he knew I was ... but so far as I know, he does not ... and I wouldn't mean it even if I did apologize ... so there *blows raspberry*. Blogging is one of a scant few threads that keep me tethered to my life/earth/my responsibilities/sanity ... (you choose) these days. I will admit it - I am feeling bouts of mental weakness lately. I will say also, that I can do this - and will. I'm just incapable of doing it quietly ... as with most things.

So - my husband's employer has laid him off, BUT has contracted his position back to him (that he can do from home) in an effort to cut company costs. Now, based on what I understand (and this is a dumbed down version, because I just do not 'get' all of the intricacies of the contract)  if he bills out 200 - 240 minutes of his time every day for five days  (no, he is not running a porn line for Newfie fetish addicts) we should still bring in what he was making before and still have enough to pay the resultant taxes that will  inevitably wind up owing to our fair government. 

Tuesday, he did 130 minutes and yesterday, he did 180. He has a possible seven days of the week from which to work ... so, in theory - this really could work quite well ... and could, in fact, be a bit of an answered prayer as his recent promotion was going to mean increased child care costs and with the end of school looming in the near future, we would have been looking at quite a bit more out than what would have been coming in.

The bad news is that this company has laid off nearly everyone and has put a push on the skeleton staff to get the computers that have been paid for already, out the door as fast as possible. That doesn't sound promising. My hubs and the other guy that has been contracted have a running wager on whether the doors will still be open on Monday. It is my hope that this pathetic company has not left it until it is too late to recover... though, if they have - the contract is still up for grabs and my hubs doesn't really need anything from his current employer in order to keep doing it ... we'd just need to set up a skype account and a pay pal ... easy peasy. 

That said, I breathe a sigh of skeptical relief. We have no cushion. Not an inch for error. It is as scary as hell and I can't tell you I am happy in the least about it just at the moment, but I have to believe that this will wind up being the answer to my recent prayers - and yes ... I have been praying. It is what I know, and the greatest form of action I seem able to take.

I want to be happy. I do have much to be happy about. I am so damned tired of this overwhelming sense of impending doom.

An angel came to me recently and gave me a gift. It is something I can't talk about nor explain, but she gave it all the same. My faith in the human condition renewed, I will carry on my way with a smile in my heart.

Thank you to my girls ... jumping to my rescue. You guys mean so much to me - you just have no idea. I hope that one day ... (maybe if I sell a manuscript or something - ha ha) when I am independently wealthy, I will be able to come and visit each and every one of you and take you for lunch and a spa day ... or perhaps fly y'all in to have it together ... for a week ... a month?? 

Hey, a dragonfly can dream, can't she?