Platitude Paradise

February. God, how I detest thee... let me count the ways. 1) It's cold 2) It's the longest short month of the year 3) The weather is awful 4) It's dark all the time 5) The distance between the joy of Christmas and the misery of winter has closed 6) It's the 'pre-gateway' to the beginning of spring 7) It's super depressing 8) It's spelled stupidly 9) Valentine's day 10) My depressive swing hits full sphere during this month I'm sure I could go on, but you get my point. I hate February... with as much passion as this dreary month will allow. If I were the sort of person who could travel, this would be the month to do it. Yesterday morning, I made the grave error of stepping on a scale. 19 pounds... I am up 19 pounds since before Christmas. Yikes. So now, not only do I have to suffer through an insufferable month, but I have to do it while on a diet and exercise plan... I can NOT gain back my weight. That will end me. My...

Dear Dani; You are so much more than your credit score. You have overcome so many seemingly insurmountable obstacles... with the grace and finesse of a water buffalo... but overcome them, you have. In the eyes of your children, you are a hero. It is you that has always been their landing pad, punching bag and sounding board. Know how truly lucky and special that makes you.  The love and care with which you treat those closest to you is beyond compare... and anyone within your sphere of love, knows a ferocity of the heart only you can employ.  You are a good woman... and given your general opinion of women, you should consider your company before disparaging yourself. No one element of your life defines you, rather your sum total is equal to so much more than some wealthy socialite, with nary a care in the world.  You've got grit. Whatever in the hell that is supposed to mean. Most importantly, when life gets you down, put on some music and ge...

I believe there is something in me that is worth writing... I just can't find it. There are snippits of brilliance that come to me during the day... while I do dishes... while I'm driving... shear brilliance... alas, no such masterpiece ever makes it to my laptop. I am unhappy. I don't want to be unhappy... but I am unhappy. Work has been sucking the life out of me for past few weeks.  I mean, I still love my job and it's still far and away the best I've ever been treated in an employment situation, but my boss has been super stressed lately and shit certainly rolls down hill there.  There is an event... "THE" event coming up next month.  It's been tense, let's just say. She makes me uptight. Uptight-er than I would naturally be... in fact, I think I may possibly be the calm one. Digest that for a moment. FUCK!!! We are SCREWED! She actually told me what a calming force I can be. Pretty funny if you ask me... th...

Keeping one's expectations in check is the key to a happy life, I believe. I failed to do that recently. Failed in a big way. So much so, I didn't even see it coming. I was super excited for my date night. I didn't think my expectations were out of whack - I didn't care where we ate, what we did (outside of the hotel room) or even where we stayed, so long as it was clean... and it was. The room was the nicest part of the whole experience. He tried... my hubs did... This was waiting for me when I landed in our room. It was quite a surprise. Some pretty nifty equipment came in this bad boy... I recommend taking the chance. Certainly well worth the $60 he paid for it. I'd say there was more like $150 worth of stuff in it. ...stuff I'm still yet to try. We didn't leave the house early enough. To be clear, I was ready - hubs just allowed too much time for my hair appointment, and the ETA of my mother was up in the ai...

I anesthetize my life. I know that I do. I think much of it is more habit than necessity at present, but that doesn't stop me. I'm drugged for Bi-Polar disorder. I drink. I smoke pot. ...but the reason I have been recently refused for life insurance, is the Bi-Polar meds - specifically, the mood stabilizer. Seems odd that something that helps me so much is causing such a stir with my insurer... so I don't know what to do. If I should go off those meds - that keep me from the depths of despair this time of year - in favour of having life insurance for my kids in the event of my untimely demise... or if I should try and change them to something acceptable to my insurer. Problem being, they are not overly forthcoming with information on what they will and won't do. Argh. This weekend, my hubs is taking me away for a hotel stay and dinner out. He's been pushing me to go and get my nails and hair done this week... and we are going shoppin...

There are a number of fundamental elements of my life that have run amok of late: Our bankruptcy is going to drag on another year... all the while, gathering money we'll owe the Trustee... so the reality of our existing income situation dictates we will be paying this off for the next three years. Which means it will take that long to be discharged. My best friend and I are in an unpleasant phase. It doesn't happen often, but it is not an easy time... for either of us, I imagine. The truth is, I am hurt. My feelings were hurt when she blew me off for the movie date. I know it's no big deal to her, but to me going out to a movie is a big commitment of my time and energy... she doesn't realize what these things cost me. I know that... so what is the point of taking issue? Who does that benefit? It doesn't even serve me... except that I would have answered the question she asked me... right before she tore a strip off me for 'ghosting' her. I'm...

It's true... I super can. Being as highly self aware as I have been of late, that knowledge doesn't waft past me like it used to do. Yesterday, I had to run a particularly unpleasant errand on my way home from work. It was something I didn't want to have to do AND, it is in a location that is a nightmare to get in and out of. Long story short, I was in a state of high irritation before I even got there. I got into the parking lot without too much ado, but upon leaving, I had to pull out into one of the worst 'round-abouts' or 'rotaries' in our fair city. It was nearing 4pm and the traffic was already a little on the stupid side. I was turning right, out of the driveway into what immediately turns into 3 solid lanes of traffic - which at that hour of the day, is mostly stopped... waiting for a chance to floor it into the circular nightmare that awaits... and will ultimately spit you out some other exit and send you on your merry way... provid...