Down Down, Doobie-doo, Down Down

Ever been so down, you are unsure which way is up?

Lately I have had no reason to be down.
Seriously.
Nobody wants my head on a stick for non-payment of something.
My kids are teenagers and that can always produce a reason to worry, but overall they are okay.
Work is fine.
My husband is fine.

I, on the other hand, am not fine.

I am rolling around in my own proverbial stink.

The headache rages on... the depressive episode persists... My ability to get out of my own way is extinct.

This past weekend, we painted our living room and I did a little Spring cleaning and rearranging. It was supposed to make me feel accomplished... I guess it did for a minute. 

I'm still dragging my tail around like Eeyore, however.  

There is no joy in anything for me just now. My cooking is loveless, my work is boring, my home life is mind numbing... I need something to dream about... and with a year long extension on my bankruptcy, it's pretty near impossible to do that.

This weekend I have to be away over night for work again. Just for a Monday morning meeting, but barf... I don't wanna go. I don't even wanna do the meeting, for that matter... just more boredom, except with an audience.

I feel abandoned by the world. I know that is overly dramatic of me, but I sincerely do. Like I could turn to dust and float away... and nobody would notice except the people who count on me to feed them.





I think Billie Eilish is a good listen for today...

D-out

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

WIMTS

Image
I know I have been a slacker on the fun MeMe's lately. I thought perhaps I might try to rectify this little problem and join in today with Chiefy and her highly fun theme. Without further ado: On Monday night, my hubs came home from work at his usual 10:30(ish) pm. I had recently awoken in my daughter's bed and come downstairs to watch one of my most fav shows (The Big Bang Theory ... don't judge me - it is funny!) ... I had fallen into a sound stupor while trying to get my brats beautiful darlings to go to sleep and I was barely coherent. My hubs had come in and then disappeared for a little while ... I thought it odd, but didn't dwell as my show was starting. When he finally came into the living room  with his plate of dinner, (yes, I save him a plate from our dinner to eat when he gets home) he asked me how I was feeling. I found that odd. I said: "Why?" in a highly suspicious tone. He didn't say anything else until the next commercial break. Hub...
Read more

This is dedicated to the one(s) I love .... (gotta sing it)

Yesterday was my 37th birthday. I was sick for the entire day and mighty worried I was in for a pretty miserable few days. I went to work and did my thing (I know I should have stayed home, but that is not the sort of place I work in) and the gals at my office threw a little lunch time party for me, complete with chinese food and cake ... and card and song and even a gift certificate for a hair-do at a local salon (okay - so you know your "do" is a "don't" when you get a certificate like this from your co-workers... unclench, Eyvi - I know I've been bitching about my hair for months ... I'm just funnin'). To them, I say TYVM ... for making me gain 5 more pounds... no, I'm kiddin' again - I am so touched. Thanks guys - you ROCK! I don't plan to spend a whole bunch of time yaking about the 'day' itself. It's just that birthdays have a tendancy to cause somewhat of a retrospective thought path ... especially when one is campe...
Read more

Okay - So I Am Livin' in a Dream World...

Yeah, yeah - I know what yer thinkin' ... whaz up wid the new look?? Dani-fly? Really? Well - it wouldn't fit any other way ... not really a sessy reason, but the truth. And the pic? A gal can dream, can't she? I am trying the whole 'positive projection' thang... and I positively would love to project THAT image. So, this is my new look for a while ... and yes, I change my furniture around this often. It would appear I bore easily when it comes to decor - even in cyber space. ************************************************************************************ Okay, I just hung up the phone from Mr Dragonfly. The conversation was mostly mundane up until this part: Mr D: Well hun, if you WANT to do some decorating (and no, I didn't) you could always go downstairs and grab that set of bush lights. Me: Bush lights? *snickers like a pervy teenaged boy* Mr D: *oblivious* Yeah, you know, the mini lights ... to decorate your bush. Me: Bahhh haa haa haa h...
Read more