Thursday, July 11, 2013

Je Regrette

My Mom is moving out next weekend.

It's finally here. 

THIS is what we've trained for, people!

I find myself fervently wishing our house was sold and that we were also moving on ... into a more affordable and subsequently healing housing situation. We aren't, but I am still attempting optimism in the healing department. 

I have long believed that regret is a wasted emotion. It really is. I mean, you should learn from your past, but spending valuable time on regret seems highly counter productive ... but I have to say if ever I felt regret, it is about this situation I find myself living of late.

Don't get me wrong, I really love my house ... but more than anything, I just don't want it to beat us. I regret buying it more than any other one decision I have ever made (and truly, that is a weighty statement right there). Further to that buyer's remorse, I regret getting it into my head that my mother should live with us ... and I regret trying to save our sorry asses with the gangster bank 2nd mortgage ~ I liken THAT little move to trying to catch yourself before you fall down a flight of stairs, only to break both of your arms in the process ... further impeding your ability to survive the original trauma.

Ah, hindsight ... you can fuck right off, okay?

So ... in the interest of living in the moment, we are attempting to make the most of an otherwise suck-tastic situation and have been planning a very inexpensive (as in ZERO monies, if possible) renovation for Mom's soon to be abandoned in-law suite. We likely should be trying to rent it, but heating this house with oil is just not a viable option for us ... and there is no other way to heat that area. In the Winter months, that space costs us more in oil than it brings in ... and we can't get any more money for it than what we had asked previously. 

To that end, we have decided on the following course of action: 
1) we are looking for a 2nd hand CSA approved wood stove and some chimney (which admittedly WILL cost money, but would pay for itself in no time flat) to put into that 'wing' of our home
2) once next weekend passes, we're going to open up the wall between the spaces and reclaim it for our own use
3) we are using the existing material (with the exception of some drywall and eventually some paint) to create a patio-accessible bar area
4) using the same frugal formula, we'll move a door, a couple of windows and a wall opening here and there ... take the big bath tub out and put my washer and dryer into that space ... and change it into a truly usable space - including the kids' toys, video games and so forth

It's about another 800 or so square feet that we can now utilize. Despite myself, I am getting excited about this prospect.

Once this has been completed and the toy room has been moved back to the main level, the two additional bedrooms on the second floor can be turned into an income opportunity. We are advertising for two university students to board through the school year with us. We are adjacent to a university town ... not right in it, but very close. 

This would do two very important things:
1) INCOME! I'm thinking like $1200-$1500 per month in income.
2) The students I am hoping to attract would be international students. What an opportunity for my girls to learn about different cultures ... and to broaden their view on the world. 

This is the plan.

Also, I am ever hopeful that the relationship between Mom and me will mend on its own ... over time. But I regret the need.

She is happy and excited and her man is a prince among men ... so it's all good on her end. I managed to NOT share my true feelings about this whole situation, so that's good - at the end of the day. I am optimistic that the healing will just occur on its own. Less chance for me to screw it up that way.

It is time to close this chapter and start fresh again. We can't sensibly dump the house, but maybe we can finally start to recover from the past five year stint.

Ya think?

1 comment:

Eyvi Sprite said...

Oh, how I wish you could see yourself through my eyes. You are fantastic. Even your flaws are endearing. I'm speaking to the last few posts, not just this one.

I've just spent an unhealthy amount of time recalling our many lunch hour conversations trying to put a name to this mysterious "JJ". It is killing me!

I'm sorry your first client left a sour taste in your mouth. Please don't let it get you down. You've got this!

Finally, I think your Mom leaving is the first step to a healthy, healed relationship with her.