Platitude Paradise

Mmmkay ... Is it wrong that for the offense of using MY coffee mug and then not only NOT washing it out immediately upon returning home and placing it into its place of belonging - but not even running the dishwasher it spent its night in ... I seriously considered killing my husband this morning? Really - is that so wrong of me? I firmly believe this was clearly provocation on his part ... it's possible that one could even call it self defense of some sort or another. I mean - I NEED my coffee in the am... and it MUST be served in MY travel mug ... those are the rules.  They were written into the marriage contract. Right after Paragraph 3, sub section 12: Under no circumstances is the husband to use the wife's toothbrush. I'm just sayin'...

Okay, okay ... I will stop posting songs ... I will. This one gives me chills. I totally love this group ... and this is a fan-fuckin'-tastic live performance. (I also recommend 18th Story Balcony) I give you Blue October Okay - I'm done now. Good song though - right?

Just a quickie to wish my friend Eyvi Sprite a very happy Berfday!!! Yeah - I know you don't like Maxine, but this just reminded me of me and my efforts of late :) ...you know it's always about me - sheesh!!! All the best - and have a fantabulous trip!

Okay - so I've had lots to say and bin whining slightly more than the usual. Sorry about that. I'm missing my husband ... in the form of the man I actually married. This has been hard on him too and I need to remind myself that we are in this together. But I miss him. I miss us. I'm pretty sure we'll come out okay on the other side, but for the first time in well over 10 years, I didn't want him to come to bed with me last night. I find that unsettling. In an effort to remind myself of better days, I thought I would share with you, my Bleeps - our wedding song. Does a soul good sometimes to force certain memories back into the forefront. This shit is minor and we're okay ... right? I promise my next post will be lighter-hearted than this stuff. PS - it's Eyvi's birfday tomorrow ... don't forget to razz her ... freakin' young thang she is.

Has fun Danica gone? Oh where oh where can she beeee??? It's Monday. I originally started writing this blog post on Friday ... I am just not 'feeling myself' these days. (My mother always told me that was a dirty habit anyway ... snort ... okay, so I'm still in here with my twisty humor, it's just subdued somewhat.) I think Stretch and I need to start attending therapy together. It should be called: "Child Neck Wringing Aversion Therapy". I will preface the following with a disclaimer: Much of this behavior is likely due to her reaction to me and my overall lack of patience ... tolerance ... sleep ... sense of ha ha ... patience ... aggression avoidance ability ... I could go on, but you get the point. My children are my entire reason for being (most of the time). I would peel my own skin off with a cheese grater if it meant saving them from harm ... but so help me ... Stretch is a pretty smart kid.... so, it begs the question: WHY - Oh fruit of my l...

Howdy-ho, Bleeps. Sorry I have been absent for the past little while. I have been in a funk. It started innocently enough ... {It's too blurry to read, but it says: I don't even feel like picking my ass} Soon, though ... I started having headaches ... ...and then they got worse. I reached out for some chemical solace... But it only lasts a short while. It happens most years, in February ... I just feel like I am standing at the edge of a great precipice...   Just doing my best to hang on to whatever shred of happy I can sink my nails into. Inevitably, I get tired of being sad ... and my mood swings into a slightly more volatile one: I get a little testy at home while cooking the evening meal ... Then ... well, my attitude takes a turn for the worse at work... losing my temper easily ...  The signs are clear ... But some people never learn to listen ... ************************************* Without fail...

(But it was just too damned funny not to share with everyone)    Actual questions posed to Vancouver Winter Olympic Committee Now that Vancouver is hosting the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions people from all over the world are asking. Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website. Obviously the answers are a joke, but the questions were really asked! Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow?( England ) A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die. Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? ( USA ) A: Depends on how much you've been drinking. Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the Railroad tracks? ( Norway ) A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water. Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada ? ( Sweden ) A: So it's true what they say about Swedes. Q: Are there any ATM...

Totally stole this from Eyvi's FB page ... but I LOVE IT!! {Can you tell I learned how to embed videos today?}

Spot ... ALL men think bigger is better ... except perhaps where Big Foots are concerned. Content Warning!!! Very bad language in this video ... one of my all time favs. Excerpt from Eddie Murphy's Delirious: Perhaps I'll get off my proverbial ass - or more to the point ... ON my actual ass and write a post later today. Must be something about this time of year. sighs Call this my gift to you ... a Friday laugh.