Open Letters...

Dear 'Face';

Your sister told me yesterday.

I knew you were sick. I knew two and a half years ago that you were mostly gone.

You have never answered my messages nor showed up in the city.
Likely a good thing for me.
Best to keep a few provinces between us.
I'm so sorry to say that.

I have never had more fun with any other person, than I had with you.

I will always miss you.

~

Dear JJ;

I swear that when I reached out to you, I had no earthly idea you were wading through the messy waters of divorce. No clue that you were the victim of an infidelity. I sincerely only saw that you had lost a great deal of weight. I wanted to be nice...

Your reaction to my email rather shocked me. Almost like you thought I was taking a swipe at you.

The irony doesn't escape me. The very woman you chose over me all those many years ago... and she cheated on you. I guess I can see why you might think I would get a little joy from that ... but I did not know, and I am not that girl.

~

Dear Bestie;

I want you to know that I have never been prouder of you than I am right now.

The poise and purpose you have demonstrated these past few months leaves me in awe of your resolve. While those around you spontaneously combust, you continue to move forward with intention and kindness.

It's already starting to get better. Just hang in, kiddo. You're almost there.

~

Dear Progeny;

For the love of all that is good and holy, wouldja lay off your old mother for a bloody minute?

~

Dear Beast;

It does not escape me that you were unaware.

You meant no harm. Would be very unhappy to learn that this was true... but I suffered at your hand.

There is so much blame that lands on me ... I know ... but you were selfish, too. You sopped up the attention like a thirsty sponge... and whatever guilt you felt, you swallowed it.

I know I absolved you.

I know I encouraged... perhaps even dared you in places ... but in order to forgive myself and move forward, I have to redistribute the culpability in a more equitable manner. 

  

~

Dear Dani;

It super sucks about the whole bi-polar vs. medication situation. I know how much you do NOT want to add medication on top of medication. Especially one that is known for packing on weight.

I don't know if you're gonna be able to stand not having manic phases. I heard you when you told me how lost you are without them. It's like missing a limb, you said.

At the very least, if you could just not be enduring the nightmare that has replaced them.

I know that you are inside out.
Every nerve that you own is on the outside of your skin.
Ripe for the flicking by the entirety of humanity... though most immediately, the local driving community.
You are either going to get yourself killed, or you're going to stroke out.

Dude! You seriously need to chill.

Find your happy place.
Un-clench.
Buy some Calgon and let it 'take you away', already.

Please, I worry.