Platitude Paradise

Happy Hump Day, Bleeps ... or actually ... since Friday is a holiday, I guess we could have considered the half way mark between yesterday and today "Hump-Eight-Hour-Period" ... whatevs ... you feel me? Right? Or smell what I'm steppin' in? Right? I am very much ...'Twinkle, twinkle, little ... oooh - look at the pretty butterfl ... oooh - that plane is really loud... oooh - there's Sally waving from her back deck' ... I'm having trouble staying focused. Could be Spring fever ... could be the fact that Narci is away this week ... could be that Hubs is actually making MORE and spending LESS money than when he had to go to work everyday ... I'm near on heady, I am. In honor of my inability to commit to a topic, I give you: Short Attention Span Theatre ... Dani-style * I went to my first sleep over in ten years this past Saturday. It was at Polly's house. She is Jax's older sister and we have become very close over the years. We had a ...

Man ... I am late to the party today. Okay ... this month? It's been a while. I have been in a dark and scary place ... and my funny was AWOL. Nuf sed about that. So ... I do like this theme and even though I'm scrapin' in under the wire ... I'm still here... we'll call it fashionably late - K? My confessions this week are shocking. I want any of you that suffer from over active bladder, heart conditions or excessive flatulence to think seriously about reading what follows. I shot JR... and Mr Burns. I also stole "The Beef" I let the dawgs out. I pushed the old lady down that "couldn't get up" ... she didn't fall. Oh ... and that smell? It was me ... hee hee hee ... oops! I ate the last piece of pie/cake/pizza/candy/gum - it was all me. I took the last Tylenol... and the last ice cube ... and I didn't fill it back up. I put the milk back in the fridge - empty... I'm a rebel that way. Hope ya'll have a great w...

I will make apology to any recovering alcoholics out there ... the following is not a post you should read. Rum is good. I really don't care what anyone says ... I am blissfully happy right now. Sitting in my eat in kitchen ... folding laundry and listening to Blue October, Chris Cornell and The Peas ... with a snog or two of rum. Life seems relatively good. I am not thinking about tomorrow. I refuse to ruin a perfectly good drunken Sunday afternoon with thoughts of Narci and the impending doom of our early morning meeting scheduled for tomorrow. Nope - not thinking about that. Yesterday went well. Shorty had a good birfday. All of her guests (except for one) showed. They had a ball. I shared sparkling conversation with the other adults - which for me is tough because I am socially stunted. I mean when it is work related, I am a master of conversation ... but when I don't know what my role is ... where I fit in ... I get ... lost. It's pathetic, really. I fell asleep af...

~Disclaimer~ I am NOT looking for sympathy ... I am bitching to vent - because I don't have room in my head for the petty stupid crap that is elbowing its way through my thoughts right now. Ladies ... start your engines. Today is Shorty's birthday party. Her 5th birthday is on Tuesday, but parties are better held on weekends, no? She went to a birthday at McDonalds just after Christmas and has been obsessed with that idea ever since ... counting down the days ... planning her guest list. We gave her the choice of venues - even a house party like we had for her sister in January - but she opted for Mickey-D's. Enter my sister. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate anything that is done for my kids - I do. My sister is not overly involved in my kids' lives. She is busy planning her move to the UK at the end of the month and she also blames me for being overprotective in not allowing her to drive them all over hell's half acre. It's a sore spot. I won't ela...

First, let me say that my spirit is renewed so often by some of the wonderful people who read and comment on my blog that it is a constant state of surprise I find myself in. Thank you. I mean that from the bottom of my heart. Second, I think I should expand slightly on my post from yesterday. I was cut a little short by the presence of my very pissed off and highly 'in my face' (not to mention up my ass) boss ... yes, you are detecting a note of indignation in my tone ... no, I will not apologize for blogging on company time ... well I would if he knew I was ... but so far as I know, he does not ... and I wouldn't mean it even if I did apologize ... so there *blows raspberry*. Blogging is one of a scant few threads that keep me tethered to my life/earth/my responsibilities/sanity ... (you choose) these days. I will admit it - I am feeling bouts of mental weakness lately. I will say also, that I can do this - and will. I'm just incapable of doing it quietly ... as with...

I know I have been a slacker on the fun MeMe's lately. I thought perhaps I might try to rectify this little problem and join in today with Chiefy and her highly fun theme. Without further ado: On Monday night, my hubs came home from work at his usual 10:30(ish) pm. I had recently awoken in my daughter's bed and come downstairs to watch one of my most fav shows (The Big Bang Theory ... don't judge me - it is funny!) ... I had fallen into a sound stupor while trying to get my brats beautiful darlings to go to sleep and I was barely coherent. My hubs had come in and then disappeared for a little while ... I thought it odd, but didn't dwell as my show was starting. When he finally came into the living room  with his plate of dinner, (yes, I save him a plate from our dinner to eat when he gets home) he asked me how I was feeling. I found that odd. I said: "Why?" in a highly suspicious tone. He didn't say anything else until the next commercial break. Hub...

... I wonder where the birdeez iz?? How are my Bleeps doing on this fine pre-Spring day?  It is ... SUNNY!!! and not FREEZING!!!   ...and the people rejoice... I have a cold... Actually, it is a mutant lung eating virus...     "Billy-Ray Virus" ...but it is getting better...     ...and the people rejoice! I even noticed  these delicate little protuberances peeking thru the newly exposed earth   Crocuses ... sweet denizens of Spring!!! ...and the people rejoice... We took down our Christmas lights yesterday!!  (Shameful, I know)... but all done now!   ...and the people rejoice...  I cleaned out my car      More shame ...and my car rejoiced My floor didn't fare so well ...   but, the dog had a grand time.     The people tried to rejoice...   ...but I kicked their rejoicing asses.... ...and made them wash my floors again.   ...and Dani rejoiced!!...