Platitude Paradise

I need to complain. I know the consensus around here is that Hubs is good people, but even good people need a smack up the side of the head now and then.  I need to be petty and snarky and the type of woman that carries her handy list of infractions around in her back pocket for just such an occasion. I need to do it here so I don't do it out loud.  I hate that woman. I don't want to be her in the world. I want to be the kind of partner that is level headed and calm and patient ... and can talk it through and resolve the bad feelings. Problem being, of course, is that I'm not typically any of those things. It's about this whole pink job vs. blue job disparity.  I'm not gonna lie here, people ... I am a good wife and partner.  I know I just flipped my lid for the past few years, but in that time I still maintained a house, raised our children almost entirely alone and  I was never not contributing financially. Even when off wor...

My newly fifteen year old decided to cut off her long blonde hair in favour of a 'faux hawk' type style. She has the sides of her head buzzed right off and everything! I have to say, it is really cute.  It's happening ... she's maturing into a young woman. Developing her own 'style'. It would seem said style is that of a hipster. A style of which, I am truly not a fan ... alas, she is entitled to her own opinion in this case. It really doesn't matter what I think. But, it is actually nice to see her taking an interest in her appearance ... not that I want to see her obsessing about it, but she has had ZERO interest up to now. It is a positive, but it sends hot little tendrils of fear through my lymphatic system.  So, my increasingly mature Stretch found herself in a conundrum last week. She had been invited to a sleep-over that included a trip to the pool, but she was on her period. I gave her a few options ... I could take her up aft...

...where you can always scratch whatever itches. True story. So ... I haven't posted anything for quite some time. There was a little writing, but most was 'un-postworthy'. I've just skimmed through a few pieces and I think they shall remain unpublished.  I have been busy doing Herculean work... and I am feeling better than I have in years ! I have returned to the land of the gainfully employed! So far, it is a complete departure from anything I've done before. So far, it is a dream come true. So far... The time has finally arrived for me ... for us ... to move forward. Lawd! It has been a long time coming, but it is here at last!  I greeted 2018 with what I can only describe as ... hope. Real, optimistic hope ... for the coming 12 months.  My mood on New Year's Eve was weird ... in fact, the whole season was strange this year. I was without my normal 'manic' energy. I liken it to a phantom limb... boy did I miss it l...

2016 has been, by far, my best year in history. It has also been, by far, the hardest, most painful and most dangerous year of my life. It is not my desire to be controversial in order to create interest in my life, in particular. The details of any one life really don't matter to this story. Everyone has their own 'shit' to sort and, as luck would have it, a closely matching level of what they can manage. Plus, you don't ever have to look far to see someone who has it better or worse than you. So why compete, really? It seriously doesn't matter who has the most, who does the most or who has it the worst or does the least. They're all ridiculous things to even consider. The only time anyone finds meaning in anything is when they do it for someone else, anyway. Even if their minds are good at convincing them otherwise. You must also consider outside influence, like the impact wounds of life's machine gun array on any given day. Not everyone...

I find myself sitting in awe of just how vile my employer actually is... and this time I mean the financial institution from whom I receive my pay. Or not.   To catch up, our consumer proposal had to be withdrawn because Revenue Canada is refusing to settle my 2013 taxes. You know the one where I don't owe $15K. Yeah ... that's the one.    Anyway, to put a positive spin, we can re-file once this all settles. It sucks we couldn't get it behind us, but it certainly could be worse.   I am off on medical leave. I have gotten bad enough that I really can't handle that office. I am simply awaiting treatment. Not trying to screw anyone ... just want treatment. I tried my EAP. They couldn't help. I tried the insurance company that provides my benefits, they couldn't help. Both would cover a psychologist, but neither would do psychiatry. I am stuck with MSI.   Unfortunately, MSI has limitations and ... very ... long ... wait ......

It's true... and sometimes it even works.   People think I am a bit of a "Prima Donna" based solely on my outward appearance ... but that hasn't been the case for quite a long time.   The last three years of my life have taught me some very tough lessons and revealed things to me I would simply rather not know about myself, my short-comings and foibles. They have shown me basement after basement, which seem infinitely endless ... though simple mathematics tells me I will hit the last one before much longer. I suspect that will be a hospital bed at the local psychiatric hospital for me ... assuming I could even get in ... and for my family? I couldn't say. Living on somebody's couch? In our truck? It is really the only thing left that we own that hasn't been taken away.    Since 2013, we have lost two businesses, our house and my mind. After 15 years of renovating and flipping houses - all through my two daughters' childhoods, I will add - ...

Ever had one of those days where you imagine yourself walking into a cement wall again, and again, and again ... c'mon - don't lie. I know you know what I'm talking about. My day began much the same as most others ... with me schmucking the sleep button roughly 4 times too many (and at 7 minutes per pop - I started at a 28 minute deficit) ... then off to the shower. Once clean, I set about the spackle & paint job that I recreate every morning and then off to work. My commute is roughly 25 minutes at a conservative 10kms over posted ... I may have pushed the envelope on that this am. Recently, Narcissus (my boss man) decided to give me (or rather allow me to use) a company vehicle in lieu of a raise (... for the past 5 years of my devoted servitude). Now, I suppose the concept was not without merit. Having a vehicle paid for isn't all bad ... and you come off fairly good where taxes, etc are concerned. However, the style of vehicle becomes crucial in this equa...