Sometimes Everything Just Sucks

 

I know that I have made so many mistakes. I know this. I openly admit to them... but COME ON! Karla Holmoka didn't serve this much time!

I've just gone from being ecstatic on Friday night about a job offer that was to come this week, to crying into my lap today because my prospective employer viewed my credit bureau.

I tried to explain what happened. They humoured me... but in the end, they rescinded their offer. 

This would have been a good job. A high paying job. A game changer for us. Seriously.

Unfortunately, according to a privately owned credit reporting service, I am a certified dirt-bag that can never be trusted again. Ever. It didn't matter why any of it happened, only that it happened.

It feels like I will never stop being punished. 

I get why I can't obtain credit, but landing a job that would literally change my life? I really don't understand why they even have to know. I've never ever been suspected of anything illegal or untoward. In fact, I held the Treasury position for years when I worked for the bank. Had a $50K cheque signing limit. Doesn't that count?

Does the fact that I have fought tooth and nail with our healthcare system to get my kid help make any difference? Or the fact that, against all odds, my marriage has stayed not only intact, but still pretty happy? That I never ran, even though I wanted to more than you could imagine? Or maybe even that my experience matches the position very nicely?

No. It doesn't. The only thing that matters is what one sheet of paper says about me.

My background check is clean. My references are spectacular and I would (sincerely) be an asset to them... that just doesn't mean more to them than that horrible time when I lost my home - the only home my children ever really knew - the one we had worked toward for most of our first 10 years together... that's what my economic value amounts to... zero dollars.

We fucked shit up. 

We made poor decisions. 

Nobody in this scenario set out to make this mess or screw anyone over. We were just trying to survive. To keep life as stable as possible for our kids... and us. We're still fighting the battle.

It's ruined the past decade and a half of my life and, apparently, it will follow me for another decade and a half before I am free.

Not to mention the fact that finance is what I know. It is really the only thing I have to offer. Now it would seem I'm out of luck for using any of my 20+ years of experience when trying to obtain gainful employment.

I've essentially been cancelled.


Bummer, I know. 

I think I'll go eat some ice cream with a chocolate bar and wash it down with vodka... straight from the bottle.

D





Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

WIMTS

Image
I know I have been a slacker on the fun MeMe's lately. I thought perhaps I might try to rectify this little problem and join in today with Chiefy and her highly fun theme. Without further ado: On Monday night, my hubs came home from work at his usual 10:30(ish) pm. I had recently awoken in my daughter's bed and come downstairs to watch one of my most fav shows (The Big Bang Theory ... don't judge me - it is funny!) ... I had fallen into a sound stupor while trying to get my brats beautiful darlings to go to sleep and I was barely coherent. My hubs had come in and then disappeared for a little while ... I thought it odd, but didn't dwell as my show was starting. When he finally came into the living room  with his plate of dinner, (yes, I save him a plate from our dinner to eat when he gets home) he asked me how I was feeling. I found that odd. I said: "Why?" in a highly suspicious tone. He didn't say anything else until the next commercial break. Hub...
Read more

This is dedicated to the one(s) I love .... (gotta sing it)

Yesterday was my 37th birthday. I was sick for the entire day and mighty worried I was in for a pretty miserable few days. I went to work and did my thing (I know I should have stayed home, but that is not the sort of place I work in) and the gals at my office threw a little lunch time party for me, complete with chinese food and cake ... and card and song and even a gift certificate for a hair-do at a local salon (okay - so you know your "do" is a "don't" when you get a certificate like this from your co-workers... unclench, Eyvi - I know I've been bitching about my hair for months ... I'm just funnin'). To them, I say TYVM ... for making me gain 5 more pounds... no, I'm kiddin' again - I am so touched. Thanks guys - you ROCK! I don't plan to spend a whole bunch of time yaking about the 'day' itself. It's just that birthdays have a tendancy to cause somewhat of a retrospective thought path ... especially when one is campe...
Read more

Okay - So I Am Livin' in a Dream World...

Yeah, yeah - I know what yer thinkin' ... whaz up wid the new look?? Dani-fly? Really? Well - it wouldn't fit any other way ... not really a sessy reason, but the truth. And the pic? A gal can dream, can't she? I am trying the whole 'positive projection' thang... and I positively would love to project THAT image. So, this is my new look for a while ... and yes, I change my furniture around this often. It would appear I bore easily when it comes to decor - even in cyber space. ************************************************************************************ Okay, I just hung up the phone from Mr Dragonfly. The conversation was mostly mundane up until this part: Mr D: Well hun, if you WANT to do some decorating (and no, I didn't) you could always go downstairs and grab that set of bush lights. Me: Bush lights? *snickers like a pervy teenaged boy* Mr D: *oblivious* Yeah, you know, the mini lights ... to decorate your bush. Me: Bahhh haa haa haa h...
Read more