I Got a Case of the Crabbies...

I feel like my dial is set to 'Turbo-Bitch' this week.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not acting out or anything... well not much, anyway.

It's like wearing your birthday suit inside out. That's the best way I can think to describe it. All the tender little bits of me are exposed and raw. The outside world is like a shower of splinters in my eyes.

EVERYTHING grates my nerves. My boss. My kids. Traffic. My spouse. Breathing. 
It all annoys the living shit outta me right now.

There are things about which, I should be worried... don't get me wrong.

Heating season looms.

Our Trustees are displeased with us and all up in our jiggies at present. They want more money every month... we don't have it... the saga continues.

I am holding my breath...

The 'internal revenue' department has set its sights upon us for random 'fuck you' tactics. Unemployment filings from four years ago... GST over payments from three years ago... let's just say, I am a tad uneasy with this venture. I'm fairly sure we didn't do anything we weren't supposed to, but my experience with this service has left me rather bereft of joy in the past.

I am holding my breath...

My dog is aging at an alarming rate and has developed some serious problems with his hips in the past couple of weeks. That scares me to death. I'm so afraid we will have to put him down, simply because we can't afford to get him healthy. He is eleven. He's an old fella in his breed's years. 

I am holding my breath...

This year, I didn't swing out into my 'normal' manic self. Never got my 'Summer high'. Now with Fall approaching readily, I am afraid I will dip deeper than last year. 

I can't afford a deeper dive than last year.

I am holding my breath...

Jesus! No wonder I am so crabbie, there is no oxygen getting to my brain!

Tonight, I rolled my kid's tips for her. 
I know it is weird, but the catharsis I experience in doing a task like that is nearly orgasmic. It caresses all my obsessive parts. I was supposed to be teaching her how to do it... but I hogged it like a fat kid with a smartie.

I need to learn how to knit or something. 
That sort of repetitive action soothes the beast... and the beast is irritated beyond sense right now.


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