Platitude Paradise

Kijiji cats, as my close girlfriend calls my fur babies. For those of you who are unaware, Kijiji is a buy and sell site ... like Craigslist. My kitties are boyz. Bad. Kitty. Boyz. Moe   My kitties open cupboard doors and jump from shelf to shelf in search of the bag of kitty treats. Once the shelf is located, one bumps the bag onto the floor - while the other waits below to whisk it away to the nearest un-peopled closet ... where they meet up and obliterate the bag. I kid you not. I am CONSTANTLY finding shredded (empty) treat bags all over my house.  Diesel & Woody Baaad kitties. Deez ... yes, he knocked it down first They are my favorite kind. For anybody keeping count, I am up to four cats, a fish and a dog. Well ... I was. See, back when my mother moved from my house back into her in-law suite, her cat decided she'd really rather stay here. Suited her fancy better. Mom tried repeatedly to convince Tomato to come back ... ...

Have I mentioned my abject love for the show "The Big Bang Theory"? Oh ... yeah I likely have.  So ... I have been AFK (away from keyboard) for the past several months. I took my blog down - namely because I was afraid that my ex-boss had infiltrated my page. My concern over this was (surprisingly) about his feelings, rather than my own skin. I know that if he read some of the things I had posted, it would hurt him. I have re-opened it... I will note that there are a number of exclusions to previous posts. You'll have to wait for the book to read those again. During the process of 'censoring'  my own work, I have realized a couple of things: I am the most funny when I am the most negative. There is a great deal of 'negative-funny' in my pages. I am afraid that if I ever manage to unlock my positive, I might lose an integral part of my personality.  This is a risk I need to take, though. I need to grow as a person. The time is now. I am fee...

You know, I may have said this before ... but THIS year, I truly mean it. In all its glory and ugliness. Some of you may already know that I was able to exit my somewhat unhealthy employment situation this past March. (Assuming anyone still actually READS my page - as I have been checked out for quite some time.) Either way, I am OUT! This is a good thing. Just because it is a good thing doesn't necessarily mean that it is supposed to feel good all of the time. (As I am learning in high fidelity surround sound, high definition, living color - first hand just now.) I have experienced emotions ranging from euphoria to abject terror - and really everything in between. I seem to drift in and out of depressive states, but over all, I am So.Much.Better.  Stretch has spun completely around with the introduction of Mommy 2.0 (The Home Edition), rather than having to pick over whatever is left once the corporate world is done with Ol' Cranky Pants Mummer. It is truly phenomenal...

Or does it? Okay ... okay - I have not written in an awful long time. So.Much.Has.Happened. It is a daunting task even to organize what I want to say. Here goes ... February  - a phone call comes to the house informing my husband that we are being investigated by the Department of Community Services for (get this) child abuse. Although, I don't believe they actually said as much on the phone ... we were informed that our attendance was requested at the office of said organization the next morning. Upon our arrival and reception, we were informed that there had been a complaint lodged back in November that had originated from our Stretch. Apparently, she was complaining about how her father hits her in the face. I don't think I need to use my words to explain how ridiculous this accusation was/is. I also don't think it necessary to bother explaining how devastating this experience was for me. I doubt I stopped crying for more than an hour for nearly a month. I...

Alrighty … so I’m not starting the year off with an abundance of wherewithal or a great attitude, for that matter. This is why I haven’t been writing … well that, and the fact that I am tired of listening to me, so I thought I’d treat y’all to a respite from my crap. Having said that, I guess dropping off the blogosphere completely may have been somewhat drastic. Sorry about that. To bring you up to speed, I offer the following diatribe: Narci is still … well … Narci. I guess that isn’t going to change and I need to either accept or decline that friend request already and move on with my life – right? He hired another mortgage agent before Christmas. I have never been a big fan of this guy. In fact, Hubs worked with him several years back and even my “wouldn’t say shit if he had a mouth full of it” husband doesn’t have anything really complimentary to say about this person. Oh – did I mention that this same person … I call him Tweedle Dumb … is being given a bi-weekly...