Wednesday, January 5, 2011


Okay, not really ... I still love Christmas. It's my family that shat in my porridge this holiday season.

So, for the few of you that did not know, I had surgery in November to remove 85% of my stomach. No cancer or anything scary like that ... I opted for this - willingly. If you want more details, click here - otherwise, I'm just gonna move on ...

I'm sure it won't shock you to learn that after having 85% of your stomach removed, thus leaving a stitch line down one whole side, you have to be very cautious about eating for quite some time afterward. The first 4 weeks was liquid only ... then for the next 4 weeks, I moved on to mushy foods like eggs and well cooked, easy to digest veggies, fish and ground chicken. I'm almost finished this stage, (one week from yesterday) and then I will be able to (carefully) ingest most types of food - taking special caution with hard to digest items like red meats and raw veggies. Yes, it is a little hard ... but I have lost 55 lbs and near on 30 inches overall in 7 weeks;--- that's certainly nothing to scoff at, and really the point of this exercise at the end of the day.

Yes, it SUCKED over Christmas ... NO alcohol, NO chocolate, NO Christmas brekkie, OR dinner, NO cookies (and I baked about 9 dozen), NO pie, No carbs to speak of,  NO alcohol (oh ... did I already mention this?) ... just to catch you up ... FAMILY, but NO ALCOHOL!!! ARGH!! What kind of sick fuckin' joke is this?! Oh, and my sisters and mother were super about this, too.


Not only did they line my counters with candy and chocolate and glorious liquor, but they also brought in bags of chips and ate this shit right under my nose. They used my good martini glasses as candy dishes (I will also point out, they broke one of 'em, too ...grrr) and left the carnage of their candy assassination all over every flat farking surface in my house ... and whom do you think got to clean that shit up?? Hmm? Yup, me. Then, to add insult to injury, every time any of them saw me put ANYTHING near my mouth, they were all over me about it ... I poured a glass of cranberry juice on ice (so I wouldn't feel quite so left out) and two of the three of them asked to smell my glass ... REALLY? Are you SERIOUSLY asking me to consent to you sticking your nose into my glass? Am I the one acting like a spoiled child here?
Then on Christmas day, my hubs and sister were supposed to be cooking the big dinner. My husband came to me at one point early afternoon complaining about the breakfast she had cooked ... 'it was cold and broken up and bladiy blah blah' ... (okay - you had fucking bacon AND TOAST, asshat ... SUCK IT UP!!) So, he was bitching about her cooking the dinner. To which, I replied ... well, YOU go and cook it then (muttering under my breath that I can't handle the two kids I passed through my birth canal ... I don't need 4 more!). It was at this point that he informed me she was already cooking it. They had JUST finished breakfast and she's got veggies and shit on for dinner already? (I had put the bird in first thing in the morning)

I wound up going out to the kitchen and suggesting she hold off on the veggies for a bit as nobody would be hungry for a couple of hours ... she got pissed off at me and stormed upstairs - where she stayed until I had finished cooking the G-D meal. I coulda schmucked her upside her head. Mom was involved in the cooking, too ... which is never a good idea (she gets pretty cranky when cooking) and by the time dinner was served, I was pretty well at the end of my ability to be civil. I made myself pretty scarce for the rest of the evening.

The next morning (boxing day), I awoke to find chocolate wrappers all over my dinning room table and floor and jelly beans in my martini glasses ... plus an empty bowl that had had chips in it. I LOST MAH SHIT! I did ... I freaked right out of my mind. I was slamming and smashing around that kitchen like a deranged fish wife. My hubs came out and got both barrels. Then I locked myself in the bathroom for an hour and a half and cried (in the bath tub) for most of that time. Nobody else knew I was upset ... just poor hubby, but I was incredibly disappointed in my family's lack of "give a shit" for their behavior toward me. I turn myself inside out attempting to accommodate their various likes and dislikes at any function or gathering ... couldn't they have been just slightly respectful of my situation this year? 
At the end of the whole thing, I can say that my children had a very nice Christmas. Of this, I am very grateful. We had to cut way back this year due to the fact that I haven't gotten a pay cheque for nearly two months (you know, because my financial planner boss that SELLS group plans to OTHER companies doesn't offer one to any of us ... so no short term disability for me ... and EI STILL hasn't paid me a dime!). I was super vigilant about finding 'just the right things' ... and I was successful! Which makes me very happy. Plus, I have seen them play with everything we got them this year - so, BONUS!

All in all, it was a success. I am now back to work (second day) and really not enjoying that very much. I had such a great time while I was off. I even refinished my kitchen cabinets between Christmas and New Year ... and they are DONE and look awesome!! I actually miss being home, quite a lot - who'd a thunk it, right?

So, to the few bleeps that still cruise the blogisphere - a Happy New Year to you ... 2011 is gonna be MY year! I can just feel it! I wish fabulosity to all of you, as well!



brite said...

Happy New Year dear...I think this will be your year too!
As for Xmas and your family (kids & hub excluded) why...why...WHYTHEFUCK didn't any of them offer to 'do' Xmas at their place??? ( I know your mom lives with you)But're recovering from MAJOR surgery what were they thinking..."Oh let's go over to Dani's place and trash it over Christmas, since she's not up for trashing it herself."
You can tell them that the Mighty Brite thinks they're all assholes.

Danica-Dragonfly said...

None of them have a 'place' Mom lives with me, my next youngest sister just moved back to NS from AB and is staying with us and my youngest sister just came back from Europe and is staying at her bo's folks' place ... and she was only at my house for 12 hours.

...and sadly, they are behaving like assholes. It makes my heart hurt and my eyes burn ... but it is what it is. Onward and upward.
Happy New Year, Mighty Brite!

Amethyst Anne said...

*shakes head in disappointment*
This is awful, and by awful I mean fucking terrible at how little regard they have for what you are doing and how hard you are working at it. My heart is hurting for you and I want to reach out and touch someone in a
"Can't you see what you have done to her?? Wake the hell up people!!" kind of way.
*Inserts something about not being able to pick your family and what not*

As for 2011, this one is for you and it will be on a level of superb awesomeness that it will make your head spin, I just know it.
Smooches and Happy New Year indeed!!

Jan said...

Happy New Year, sort of! I won't mention the relatives because I think you've said it all. But on the bright side of things, kuddos to you for your amazing weight/inch loss! You made it through the most difficult part of the year (with little help) so the rest of the year will be a breeze! No worries! Except the relative:( But you're doing awesome!