Platitude Paradise

For those of you who do not know already, I had abdominal surgery last Tuesday. It was laproscopic, which means it is much less invasive than a fully open procedure. This would fall under the category of good news, in light of how miserable I have been since having this heinous procedure carried out on my body. I have discovered the 7 dwarfs of this recovery: Gassy Painful Nauseated Hungry Itchy Bitchy & Bored I figure I must be on the mend given my level of boredom today. I am lounging around in my fluffy jammies ... looking at all of the things I could be doing with this time I have off to recoup ... except that I am not even allowed to strip my own frackin' bed. This makes me owly ... oh, okay ... BITCHY ... and HATEFUL ... because I am resenting the fact that my share of the work is simply not getting done. I know it is a heavier load than anyone really wants to admit, but my part of this equation is somewhat sizable. It's not really fair for me to feel this way .....

Last Saturday evening, my girls and I were seated in the family/living room watching a Halloween type cartoon jobby on one of the kids' channels. I believe it was the Flintstones' special. (I was reading and feigning interest in what the kids had to say about various parts of the show.) Getting on in the program, Shorty was beginning to get restive. She was sitting on the arm of my chair and Stretch had pulled the hassock/humpty/foot-stool over next to us and was sprawled across it. Apparently (and rather suddenly) Shorty found her proximity to us an affront, and proceeded to turn her little self sideways and start kicking Stretch and pushing her off her perch. This, of course, caused the very natural reaction on Stretch's behalf of whining her freakin' head off ... which caused me to raise my voice to Shorty ... which caused Shorty to begin kicking harder ... causing Stretch to wail ... and onward ... until I reached over beside me, grabbed Shorty's pants (...