Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury...
Who am I? I am 5'6" tall ... and getting shorter every day - it is my secret desire to shrink away from sight. I am 49% bitch and 51% sweetheart – so don’t push me. I am a young, beautiful and vibrant woman trapped in an old, tired and out of shape body that I'm being systematically smothered out of every minute. I am shaken, then stirred. I am a daughter, sister, mother, wife, co-worker, friend ... and I am woman - hear me roar. I am a bacon bringing, office managing, dinner preparing, household running, child rearing multi-tasker with the will of a two year old and the attention span of 36 year old. I wear stress like a second skin and would trade my eye teeth for a snake's ability to shed it. I am a wannabe writer, singer and independently wealthy recluse. I grab life by the ass and either kiss it, spank it, change it, kick it or wear it as a hat. I am contents under pressure & handle with care. I put the ‘fun’ in dysfunctional. I am an emotional escape artis...