Platitude Paradise

The trees are trimmed, the groceries are bought, the house is clean(ish), the pressies are wrapped ... the eggs've been nogged and the sweets are baked - I guess now all I need is for my errant family members to get themselves home and Christmas can begin. To all of you, my bleeps ... and everyone who loves you - hope you have a magical Christmas - full of everything yummy and wonderful! Take care! D - Out

I have a bad-assed cat. Had you heard? Yeah ... he is a B.A.D.A.S.S. He ignores, without prejudice, each of the following names he's been called: Woody, Woodster, Woodstock, Woodrow, Stinky-Stinkerson, Black Head, Guts and Pig-Cat. (Along with the ever popular, you tubby little shit !) A few things I have learned about this animal are: His shit stinks worse than any other animal I have ever had the pleasure of being near whilst it shat ... seriously, it smells like he ate the arsehole out of a skunk. He has absolutely no manners whatsoever and parades around on the sacred ground of counter tops and tables without shame. You can't so much as pour a bowl of cereal for the children without a black cloud descending upon it from what seems like every direction. If it is liquid ... he will drink it. Even if that means he has to stick his paw into the container and lap it up a pawful at a time. His absolute favorite beverages? Anything milky, my meal replacement shakes, Hu...

For those of you who do not know already, I had abdominal surgery last Tuesday. It was laproscopic, which means it is much less invasive than a fully open procedure. This would fall under the category of good news, in light of how miserable I have been since having this heinous procedure carried out on my body. I have discovered the 7 dwarfs of this recovery: Gassy Painful Nauseated Hungry Itchy Bitchy & Bored I figure I must be on the mend given my level of boredom today. I am lounging around in my fluffy jammies ... looking at all of the things I could be doing with this time I have off to recoup ... except that I am not even allowed to strip my own frackin' bed. This makes me owly ... oh, okay ... BITCHY ... and HATEFUL ... because I am resenting the fact that my share of the work is simply not getting done. I know it is a heavier load than anyone really wants to admit, but my part of this equation is somewhat sizable. It's not really fair for me to feel this way .....

Last Saturday evening, my girls and I were seated in the family/living room watching a Halloween type cartoon jobby on one of the kids' channels. I believe it was the Flintstones' special. (I was reading and feigning interest in what the kids had to say about various parts of the show.) Getting on in the program, Shorty was beginning to get restive. She was sitting on the arm of my chair and Stretch had pulled the hassock/humpty/foot-stool over next to us and was sprawled across it. Apparently (and rather suddenly) Shorty found her proximity to us an affront, and proceeded to turn her little self sideways and start kicking Stretch and pushing her off her perch. This, of course, caused the very natural reaction on Stretch's behalf of whining her freakin' head off ... which caused me to raise my voice to Shorty ... which caused Shorty to begin kicking harder ... causing Stretch to wail ... and onward ... until I reached over beside me, grabbed Shorty's pants (...

Yeah ... so I took a little trip down memory lane via You Tube today.  My first stop actually happened on my drive to work this morning with The Dream Academy's Life in a Northern Town. I don't know if it is the kettle drums, the oboe or a combo of all of the wonderfully melodious sounds emitted from this talented group ...   but this song gives me goose flesh. I just love it! (I didn't include it as you are perfectly capable of You Tubing it yourself should you have the urge to walk with me). I then stopped by some Pink Floyd. Oh how I love me some Floyd! Time, Wish You Were Here, Comfortably Numb, Mother, Hey You, Learning to Fly (just to name a few) ... I couldn't decide which one I liked the best ... so I didn't include a clip for this either. Nor did I include any of the Paul Simon I was listening to ... but 50 Ways to Leave a Lover is a CLASSIC!. Though, the Muppets' version of this one was pretty darned funny - I must say. Yes, I am all o...

I am in a crabby mood ... no ... "bitchy" better describes it. I am not premenstrual, not suffering from insomnia and don't have any good reason for feeling so rotten in my core. I have been avoiding my blog for this very reason. I thought you all could do without my sharing. I guess my opinion regarding sparing all of you my bitchy-ness has been overruled by my desire to be cheered up. Sorry. In an attempt to bolster my own spirits, I am looking to you - my bloggy bleeps to partake in a survey of sorts. You aren't required to participate, but you will make my day a happier place if you do. (No pressure) Fall is a bit of a mixed bag for many of us ... I am certainly not exempt from that list. I could go on for hours about all the negatives associated with Fall for me ... but the purpose of this exercise is to find the positives. So - without further ado, I give you: A Few of My Favorite Things, Autumn Edition 1) School goes back in... and the ...

So ... we are sitting down as a family Saturday night past, watching a movie: Ice Age 3, Dawn of the Dinosaurs - or "Donna, the dinosaur as my children call it). For any of you familiar with this franchise, Scrat finds love (of sorts) in this installment. My youngest child, 'Shorty' (who isn't very short these days ... she's taken quite a spurt since starting school) pipes up at one point and says (and I quote): "NOOOO, SCRAT!!! DON'T DO IT!!! WIVES CAN BE VERY FRUSTRATING!!! I thought sure there would be a wet spot under my husband (or me, for that matter) when he stood up, he laughed so hard. Then, last night she was playing a game on line and my mother was watching her. Mom pipes up and says: "Geezzzz ... I have a hard time following this game of yours." To which, Shorty replies: "Well ... of course you do, Gamma - this web site is for K-I-D-Z (yes, she spelled it out) not adults!" This kid makes me laugh. The other ...