Tuesday, March 25, 2014

...and THIS is why I need you to send bail money

I'm going to share a little secret with you.
 
Something people may not know about me.
 
You know ... because I am so 'discrete'.
 
Here you have it ... I hate realtors.
 
Hate. Them.
 
No ... REALLY. I mean it.
 
So for the back story ...
 
It all started about 6 years ago. Really this has been building since then. It was the decision that has now defined our daughters' childhood... and not so much in the good way.
 
I got it into my stupid little head that we should buy a house with an in-law suite so that my mom could move in with us when she retired.
 
... yadda, yadda, yadda, six years later we are about to be foreclosed upon by not one but two lenders ...
 
Oh ... and I yadda'd a bankruptcy, a trip through social services, two job losses, a business failure and very nearly, the end of my relationship with my mother.
 
It boggles my mind how this has played out. Honestly, I'm sitting in the middle of it and I can NOT reconcile how this went so terribly wrong. Can't do it.
 
I mean ... this is a thing dirt bags do. People who don't know how to run their own lives ... right?

Failures.

In an effort to escape with an ounce of dignity, we are attempting to sell the house at a loss and make settlement with the second lender. It's the best we can hope for at this point. It's been listed for 15 days. It's been shown three times and the first two felt there was just too much work here to be done but the last folks loved the location, the size, the view, the yard ... but because it needs windows and flooring and a little siding, it's too much work for them. My house is listed for twelve and a half grand under the tax assessment and rings in at less than $83 per square foot of house. Plus ... we are very negotiable.

Where in the sweet hell are you going to buy a house for that kind of money that DOESN'T need work? No place ... that's where.

So ... I emailed my realtor to impress upon him the various options that are available in the market place for purchase plus improvement mortgages and cash back mortgages ... Did anybody talk to them about that, I asked him.

Wanna know what he said?

"I told the other realtor we were negotiable ... I have to assume the buyers have a mortgage broker".

Are you freakin' kidding me? Did I or did I not JUST FUCKING HIRE YOU TO BE MY SALES PERSON? Be a mother fucking SALES PERSON and at least PRETEND like you earned your commission!

As a side bar - my sincere apology goes out to any realtor who actually DOES earn their keep ... but I'm here to tell you something - I have met an awful lot of you and not ONE SINGLE TIME has any one of ya'll done anything but enrage me.
                                                     
 I asked this guy for a copy of my CMA ... which is the market analysis ... so I could supply a copy to the lenders involved. That was 18 days ago ... after I was told one had been done to determine the listing price. Hmmm ... an untruth, perhaps?

I wound up completely re-writing the property description. His was two sentences and didn't mention a SINGLE feature of this house. I mean, the old girl needs a little work, but there are a ton of features ... you need to mention this stuff, dude ... if she were gonna sell herself, I could save myself close to fifteen grand.

Here's the thing I feel people in the real estate industry fail to notice: Many people wrap their entire self worth up into their homes. I have. Don't get me wrong, it isn't the house, in particular ... I realize that the best things in my life will come with me from this house ... but when we are talking about everything wrong with it, that translates into everything wrong with me. When they are rejecting my home because it isn't good enough for them, it translates into ME not being good enough. Add that to the cold hard facts at hand, and you've got yourself the recipe for some pretty spectacular self loathing.

It makes me so incredibly defensive ... which leads to a frenzied state of paranoia-fueled rage.

I came home from work today in such a state. It's been close to four hours and I'm still a little ragey.

It's been a pretty crappy go for nearly everyone I know. My dear friend of the past 20 years died a few weeks ago. just in my sphere of people, there is divorce, serious illness, money problems and job issues ... parents, children, pets ... you name it, we got it.

Is it ever gonna end? Is winter ever gonna go? As it sits now, we are expecting 40 - 50 cms of snow overnight tonight with sustained winds of 90kms per hour ... and gusts of 120 plus. With temps at -17 Celsius.

I can hardly wait.

Anyhoo ... as you can see, I am just a raging ray of sunshine and lollipops. This would be why I haven't been writing. I am vile. If you cut me right now, I am fairly certain there would be sticky black tar that would ooze out.

On the up side, I still adore my husband and my girls are healthy ... these really are the most important things. I do know this.

It's so hard to be positive ... but I'll keep trying.